News Flash!

Beard lost in hair-brained scheme!
This morning local peasent shave, Tom Barker lost his beard in a bizarre set of circumstances. He seemed non-plussed saying that he had "beard there done that" to which we pointed out "thats a very beard pun", to which he replied "it was a close shave". Did his religious belief help him through? "well Jesus shaves" was his reply. A eye witness claimed "I like beards they grow on you". Police say they will comb the local area and sift through the stubble. In the mean time Mr Barker only has his razer sharp wit to avoid a further brush with the law.

man I crack my self up... *sigh*....onwards!

Plagiarism of the day:
plagiarised from Adam

Ponderment for the day:
Why is most of the Snakes on a Plane soundtrack remixed emo songs?

3 comments:

Michael 10:17 am  

I don't believe you stole my razor sharp wit. Take this:

In the great desert lived a band of nomads. Their leader, Benny, had risen to his rank due to his magnificent beard. His people believed a man's strength and courage came from his beard, and thus the man with the biggest beard was their chief.

After leading the band for many years, Benny began to fell uncomfortable wearing the beard, in this hot and dusty land. He wanted to shave it off, so he called his council together to get their advice.

When he said he wanted to shave, the councilmen were shocked. One said, "Do you not remember the ancient legend, Sire. The leader who removes his beard is cursed and made into a piece of earthenware."

Benny had heard this legend, but being a modern man, he scoffed at the tale.

Being headstrong, he went ahead and cut and scraped away his once magnificent beard. As the final whisker was cut off, a huge dust storm came up. It lasted only a few seconds, and when it cleared, there was a man-sized clay vessel where only moments before had stood their leader.

The council then knew the legend must be true. Their conclusion? "A Benny shaved is a Benny urned."

Tommeh 1:52 pm  

ow that should be banned from humanity

Anonymous 1:36 am  

*is torn between rolling her eyes and applauding*

General Ramblings and Observations by Tom of Earth: a cryptic emotionally-driven look into the life of times of the infamous sock wearer, gadget-whore, unintentional blasphemer, hypocrite, servant of Xenu, Pastafarian, absurdist and thantophobic...without me, its just aweso

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