Recent progress in the field of swayage

As you may have heard (through leaked sources) there has been another theory thrown out into the public, coming from someone we shall refer to as Mike. as thats his name, the theory goes like this (quoted):

Theory of Mike: Just think what other type of people tend to sway.... thats right- drunk people! The main difference between drunk people (who are full of energy) and old people (who aren't full of energy) is their speed. Therefore following the theories these tunnels should also make drunk people go faster which won't happen because these tunnels don't have a curry distributor located in them. The key therefore to making old people go quicker is curry.

I followed this theory all the way up the last sentance, when he concluded we needed to give curry to old people to make them faster. I then thought about it for a long time (during the time i typed the last sentance) and realised the principle works the same as with a rocket. It is a well known fact that curries increase the expulsion of methane gases. I pondered this during the next sentance (while trying to remember the word expulsion and eating a ham and lettuce sandwich) and decide what we need to adapt these tunnels similiarly to how mike suggested, we need curry distributing nodes are intervals to pick up the pace.

Now the problem is supplying these needs with a supply of curry, however if we have a central server or waiter as such, we could send the currys out through their own tunnels, if the server automatically sets the curry swaying when it sends it out. Good oh

Now finally I have an idea for expansion of the systems, some old people need to go places quicker than other old people, so! we need express tunnels.... how will we make these elderly folk go faster you ask in a high pitched voice? well after each curry node we will have a sparking device, and hence lighting the methane gas emitted, and propelling these folk along. An interesting concept I'm sure u can see.

Anyway enough of this, my main news is Nick's coming today, so I'm trying to prepare my liver for the on slaught. Dave's also coming today, which probably won't help my liver either. Happy April the 19th

Random Quote:

"i just thought u shld know, i had an all niter last nite, so not much sleep, havn't eaten much or drunken much. and this has made my pee very orange and a bit smelly" - Mark Cross... oh dear.