Zorbing

In a random twist of unrelated events, I had at some point managed to organise the cashing in of my HydroPod voucher I got from Chez Star for my birthday. By hydropod they confusingly actually mean zorbing. Young Trev was my accomplis in such a daring and randical manouvere, and after some subtle GPS movement we arrived successfully in Warlingham. I think.

After some swift forest trekking, we got to go within 5 minutes of arriving even though we were 35 minutes early. I was told, mistakenly by Rex, that the water inside was probably nice and warm, so on being told to just dive in to the pod (through the anus like hole), I found myself face first in freezing cold water. Much to my delight sensualisation dismay. No matter. Trev soon joined and ended up sitting in most of the water for a good minute, with classic and humourous reaction. Suddenly it was all go, and we began to swoop backwards and forwards, in slightly random directions, linked cunningly with our arms. As we picked up speed, and our laughter made the air viscious with delight, we managed to not only end up in reverse, but we also did a complete 360 over the roof of the pod, dis-linked, resulting in Trev inserting himself in my left kidney, and I was left carefully placed with my head under the 10 inches of cold water. Which lacked breathable oxygen. Then after some more limb based collisions, we landed smack bang in a big pool of water.

After gasping some air based nectar, I decided it was extremely awesome. On changing in the tent/Gazebo that only had 3 sides to it, I was so excited I 'accidently' dropped my fiji themed town for everyone to see my white pasty bottom, and for Trev to look on despair. Hopefully awe. Probably just despair.

To celebrate the fact that I survived one more extreme based activity with only minor organ damage, and irreputable nerve damage, we found a nice carvery with exquisite roast pototoes, gravy and strange shiny high heels scattered through out it. Trev also tossed his yorkshire pud viciously and with no repent on the floor. I laughed. He was sad and wouldn't eat it.

This evening I mainly moped about, shocked and the size of my belly, and the annoyance of pulling stomach muscles through the act of vomitting. Don't drink kids. Or alcohol. Also don't get a job. And remember to change your clocks back if you haven't already.