I didn't have coffee today...

Tom: holy shit
Tom: I must be tired
Tom: I laughed out loud at one of my cartoons
Tom: help.
Tom: http://far2narf.blogspot.com/2005/04/yesense-ep006.html
Raffle: *silence*

Expansion of the mart

Today we all bust into London to go to Camden and wandered around there, I think we may have eaten food somewhere first, no doubt at the Goose. Maybe. All I know was it was definitely not at the Spoons due to past events. Fuck you Stabford Spoons.

Wandered around Camden, where many people had never been, and we took over a Cafe nero there. Good times. Then Alex and I met up with Katie, and we had just under an hour to catch up, so we went to our local. Or at least the bar that Rex/Shing and I always go to, cos it's quite nice. Nice to meet up, shame it was so quick, then everyone else started to peel off, until it was just Shing, Pete and Alex. We went back to Stabby, grabbed pizza and beer and ended up chilling all night watching Iron Man (as Alex hadn't seen it) and Hot Fuzz (as Pete?!!??!?!?! hadn't seen it). Epic. Then sleep.

Once upon a London dearly

Got up and was forced into some phone interview by a recruitment agent, which to be fair sounded alright, but I'm not much into caring but weirdly they liked me straight away, as I was apparently "enthusiastic". This kids, is why I should be a movie star.

Anyway, Alex and I walked epically all over London, from Holborn, to Covent Garden, Leicester Square, Trafalgar Square, Buckingham Palace, Westminster, Along the Thames on the South Bank side, stopping off at Giraffe for some coffee, before getting to Tower Bridge, crossing it, and getting on the tube part way down the other side. We met up with Pete, Chloe Et Mike at Victoria spoons, had a swift pint there, before hitting up Green Park/Mayfair for a pint in an extremely busy and tiny pub that we had to sit outside in the freezing cold. Chloe got the train back home, while the rest of us went to the Stabford Goose, where we encountered Rex, Shing, Jon and Chris and spectacularly Wizkid Dave.

Classic drinking times were had, involving screw the dealer, and liver destroying amounts of beer. I do like pub times like that, reminds me of how I shunned my organs for the first 3 years at uni. We all retired to our abode and watched many an episode of Family Guy after obviously obtained vast quantities of KFC first. Then everyone crashed out for the night.

Riding the tight rope of sanity

Had my second interview today, went okay, as usual recruitment agent had no idea what was going on, and there were technical questions when he reckoned there wouldn't be. No matter, I was just excited about the next few days. Went home and changed, so I could meet Mr Mccabe at waterloo, as he was to stay with me for the next 3 nights. We had a few pints in the pub in waterloo station while catching up on his work related exploits before busting over to Liverpool St, where we met Joff, and they got on really well. Which is always a relief to our intrepid worrier. That's me. First time I'd been the Spitelfields Market, although the market wasn't on, there were quite a few cool restaurants around and we chose the Mexican Las Iguanas, like the one on the South Bank. Very yummy, can't quite remember what I had, possibly a chimmychanga, as that's a classic. We had some lady like cocktails as well, and I was quite happily merry. Joff then had to scarper off to meet Sarah, while we went to meet my love partner, the badass that is Rex. In the Goose. For a few drinks. And jovial chats. I like it when people get on with each other easily.

System to the shock

Yesterday I was mainly panicking insanely, much to Raffle's and everyone else's pain, as I was basically hungering for reassurance, I think. Except I'm not sensible enough to take their reassurance on board. Error.

Anyway, this strange behavior was due to the interview I had today in the Gerkin, for some cunning company I'm probably not allowed to reveal. Was very nervous, but I made sure not to have coffee before hand, as that raises my heart rate to astronomical levels. Went alright, some quite hard tech questions, but I don't think I was too bad, and their office is very nice, great view across the city.

To reward myself for not breaking down, Raffle and I went to the Eco Sainsbury's and got a large collection of edible products. Excellent.

You Tube Live

The other night I stayed up to all manner of ungodly hours, watching a large collection of people I don't know do a variety of humourous, skillful, messy and awkward things in front of many other people they didn't know. It was most excellent. Now we all know that I'd love to convert this epic rambling into some form of visual rambling, but the unfortunate consequence to this, would not only be all your souls cracking and drifting away on the breeze far sooner, but the men in white coats would have to remove me from this plain of existence. Plus I'm not photogenic/videogenic/inyourfaceagenic and my wit reveals its true tragic potential when vocalised. Much like youtube comments. Anyway...

Yes! You Tube Live. Excellent fun, major highlights are linked to below, I'm not sure I'll bore you with it all, but William Sledd did my head in, I was sad Katers17 wasn't in it more, cos she is funny, clever and pretty *blushes* Furthermore, WhatTheBuck was funnier than I remembered, and Satriani was there so all was well with the world.

Plus so was Charlie. You know Charlie. As in Chaaaarrrrlliieeeee, we're going to caaandy mountain charrrrlieeee? Yes good. Now go away, I was going to moan to you about all the reasons I want to be a youtuber but can't, because my hands are too cold in this ice fortress we call our home.

Charlie The Unicorn - At YT:Live

Bo Burnham - You Tube Song

Queen Rania's acceptance speech

"tragic seems a very 'you' word" - Raffle

Money for the Faith

Now we all know I get mini rages when technology doesn't work perfectly, for instance if a youtube video will stutter on the ancient tech I'm using for a PC (5 years old y'all), wait I'm not sure where this is going.


I wanna do so many things, but that just means I have to blog more, which I am apparently very poor at.


don't mind me, I'm just going loopy.

Sorry I need constant reassurance guys!

I looked upon an awful quote
parched, I coughed with scratchy throat
For days have gone that I once knew
that consisted of ice topped dew

Dress ups, make outs, go home, get down!

What have I done recently, well on the 16th I slept like a crazy baby, and then on the monday Rex foolishly began work designing traffic system to kill as many people as possible. I was then productive for those two days and caught up with Gossip Girl. Today, however, I met up with Joff and Sarah in Brixton, after grabbing a nice dinner and a couple of pints with Rex in the Shakespeare. Met them in a crazy bar, and met Jono, Sarah's kiwi friend, who I had trouble understanding because of his thick accent. After many drinks in the bar, we headed into the Brixton Academy, to see Death Cab For Cutie, but with a bit of time to kill we drank more, and peed a bit. We were all pretty merry by then, and Death Cab were awesome. Better than in Japan, I would have paid the entrance money just to see I Will Follow You Into The Dark. Excellent work. Shame we were quite far back though. Also, excellently, they played "What Sarah Said" and at the line "But I'm thinking of what Sarah said" we all turned to sarah as she sang "Love is watching someone die". Which was epic. Though somewhat emo. I then got back to Stabford without being stabbed.

I worry myself sometimes:

I'm starting to give up on awful jokes halfway through, that is just depressing. I thought I'd hit you with some rapid fire facts:

I bought Fable 2, it was good. Ending was shit. Then I killed everyone. Rachel also got addicted to it.

I bought Fallout 3, it was good. Massive, sexy, gory. Ending was annoying. Reloaded. Played more. Mmmm

I bought Fifa 99. You can kick a ball.

I bought the complete buffy DVD collection for 47 english pounds. Excellent.

En Francais?

And to France we went, from Dover upon the ferry with an excellent deal that was £29 quid (though initial offer was 24) return for a car, AND you get 6 free bottles of wine on board, plus buy one get one free. After uploading the whole of europe into Susie last night, she thwarted my every move by failing to actually have any roads within the french maps. Which isn't too great, but after our coffee fueled ferry trip, I got in the driving seat, and we made a bee line to St Omer, that Rex and I had vaguely research, to try and find something that is cool near Calais, and not a Hypermarket. We accidentally took a toll road as we didn't know the translation for toll until Raffle told us, after we'd gone down the road. We also saw some English car smashed up just under an over pass, obviously not as cool as we were. Anyway, we got to St Omer, and parked up, near some hippy kids, at as it was around lunch time, many things were shut, but walking into the town square near the town hall we found a bar/cafe/restaurant called Le Seven. Unsurprisingly, we had to eat here, so after a few photos of me outside, we rocked on in there, and got a very good 3 course lunch time deal for 12 euro. I enjoyed immensely, especially the brie 3rd course, though I was exceptionally ful up by this point

Once leaving the restaurant we wandered around the quaint streets of st mer, past an old church, then crossing the high street again, past amazing cake shops, through to the Cathedral of Notre Dame (not THE notre dame) and various other buildings of culture. Eventually we went to get some coffee in a little coffee shop, and then decided to head back to Calais in my automobile. Rex drove back, killng all in his path, and we cruised around Calais until we could find the supermarket Raffle suggested. The problem was, the Euro was doing well against the pound, and so beer and spirits weren't cheaper. Not much was really, we got a load of red wine, so we had even more, then we had to get back to the merry ferry, and we slept in a tangled pile of limbs on the long trip back. Though we did arise to get some vodka for cheap. Good times though, and once more we resurrected the chant:

Drive on the right or you die
Drive on the right or you die
Drive on the left and I'll kick your dog
Drive on the right or you die.

Tomorrow's adventure of delight

Yesterday was used as a recovery day for our brains to process that vast influx of information that had been violently rammed directly in their frontal lobes. Though Rex did the German thang, as he often does.

Today, however, we resumed our search to quench our thirst for knowledge, beginning in the V&A Museum, to see the Cold War Modern exhibition, which according to my notes was "sexy". It was indeed extremely good, various artifacts, mainly of a design nature from the Cold War period from both sides. Most interesting were many of the architecture ideas that were brought forward, including some outlandish cities on legs that roam the countryside. Scary stuff. Unfortunately the exhibition lacked any form of photos showing what was actually built, as I'm guessing quite a few of the ideas were not put into production. They showed some cool furniture and gadgets that were put on display in various world fairs to show off living in America/Russia to the other side. After trawling the shop to find something for Rex's wall, we went and got some yummy grub at the Bunch o' Grapes, which turned out to be the same sort of chain-with-no-name that the Yacht was. So good time. We both had gammon steaks, that were exceptionally good. Afterwards, we slid into the nearby Costa/Nero and bust out some caffeine addiction all over the place before heading back, to meet up with the others and drive to Whitstable that eve, in preparation for tomorrow's adventure of delight.

Animals in cages, primordial rages

In a surprise twist, it would appear I have never been to London Zoo. So we went. Bit of late start, but I got some sweet 20% discount action going on thanks to Google, and the zoo was epically empty, especially later on, and we all know I find this pretty awesome and eerie. Unfortunately, because many of their buildings, although ugly, are iconic and listed, it means animals such as Elephants, Pandas and Rhinos have been moved to their out of london zoo, so they are happy and don't murder the visitors. More importantly there were no red pandas :(. Still awesome though and we saw Giraffes and frolicked in various cafes, or whatever one does in a Zoo. I resisted buying any soft toys, and we stayed in the park till closing and we were thrown out.

We transported ourselves to Covent Garden where we gained a Coffee, then still at a lost, hit up the the Punch and Judy, which served the best pint of Fosters I have had in a long while. At last it was time to meet up with Shing and get started with our 23.50 meal and theatre offer we got from Last Minute. Fire and Stone for food, where we got a salad and a pizza for free, very yummy, and I think my pizza had meat and cheese on. The perfect combo. When we arrived at the theatre, it turned out we had been upgraded to the Dress circle, so even more bonus points oozing round every corner like a crusty virus. Show was good fun, and I enjoyed it, though was quite different to how I imagined it, more minimalistic, I guess I was used to the explosive High School Musical 3. Still good fun and I got chocolate ice cream. Strangely, I don't think I recognised any of the songs.

We'll wait in line, for most our lives...

An exceptionally awesome day today, beginning with visiting the Bodyworlds exhibition at the O2, with some cunningly acquired half price tickets, which only required pretending to read the Daily Mail. Bodyworlds, in case you don't know, is the crazy exhibition of dead people by the German guy with a hat. It's amazing, starting with embryos from various stages of pregnancy, on to fetuses and then babies, culminating in a pregnant woman lying down, and you can see her baby inside of her. The main thrust of the exhibition was aging, and how you can slow down the ever progressive effects of it. A lot of focus was on the bad affect of smoking and eating poorly. Some amazing sculptures with people though, one had a guy riding on a horse which had also had its insides exposed, but the man had the horse's brain in one hand and his own brain in the other. There were ballerinas, rugby players in mid tackle, a basketball player, and the final conclusion was a huge giraffe, that had be split in two, with each half moved outwards, but with it's inside's left in the middle. Amazing. Fantastic exhibition that everyone should see, and it's not disgusting, they all just looked plastic like.

Our next port of call was the Royal observatory, so Rex and I decided to wander along the Thames Path. This turned out to be less romantic than anticipated and more industrial/wasteland/soviet. Still was interesting to see it all, and great views of the isle of dogs from that side of the river. Eventually we got to the lovely Greenwich and had a hearty meal in The Yacht pub on the Thames, and a Guinness each. We then trekked up to the observatory, where we played with the meridian line, saw various exhibitions, went into the modern observatory, asked a man why the time space continuum was collapsing, though specifically about the laser than shoots across Stratford, indicating the meridian line. Apparently it hits a wall somewhere in North London, which I am somewhat sceptical about, but I am quite sceptical about a lot. We then played on various teaching computers to learn about the cosmos, and we participated in a team satellite launch, that failed drastically and Rex chose his items poorly.

We walked back through Greenwich after admiring the laser be turned on as it was getting dark, and I admired what a nice town it was. We checked out the huge battle ship on the Thames, then went through the Greenwich Foot Tunnel as I hadn't been there, and wanted to see where they had filmed the first Britannia High ep. As it was my half birthday I had a celebratory nap followed by a excellent curry and red wine fest.

Knowledge = Power = Life Starts Here

Rex and I decided that as he will soon be a slave to the government, it seemed only right that we take full advantage of this week to fill our minds with knowledge and expand our horizons. First on your agenda was to visit the Cabinet War Rooms and the adjoining Churchill Museum in the rain. Although a bit expensive, I would thoroughly recommend them as they are exceptionally interesting. The war rooms are really cool as they have been reconstructed using the same furniture and equipment as they used during the war, even though Churchill only actually spent 3 nights in his room down there, he used it during the day alot, though during air raids he would stand on the roof watching the city burn around him like a manic overseer. The Churchill museum was also a very comprehensive look into the big C's life, which was quite revealing, an urns out he did quite a lot of stupid things prior and possibly after the war. Still a legend. We had a nice lunch in there, I think I had something manly like a quiche or a salad, and we bust on out, just in time to see a cow pigeon.

To further our war related knowledge we went to the Imperial War Museum which was a fair old walk from Southwark tube station, but we kept ourselves entertained with Charlie The Unicorn related tomfoolery. I like the imperial war museum, specifically the trenches, as I always remember the smell of them. Rex wouldn't let me go to the James Bond exhibition but we played with the other wars, though it's a bit confusing to navigate through, possibly the simulate a real war experience? After returning home, Fifa 09 had arrived, we watched the awful film that is Sliding Doors, though I wasn't really in the mood for it, and we had a plaice/pasta combo.

Update you love to hate

7th: Not sure what we did during day, probably fallout 3, Rex has started watching me play, similar to Raffle watching me play fable 2. Except fallout 3 has strange fluctuations in difficulty that I'm still getting used to. Great atmosphere and looks beautiful though. Shame they haven't fixed the character animation failing to properly connect with the landscape like in Oblivion.

8th: Chill during day as yesterday I suspected I avoided any form of furthering my life plan and played on my 360. Rex and Shing went to various house parties while Raffle and I got drunk moderately precariously. I vomit broccoli impressively over the house, after drinking Pimms, after warning I once drank a bottle a threw up all night. Broccoli becomes house in joke.

9th: I try to recover poorly. Am quite ill, so decided not to go out, which was a lame decision on my part as Sarah was moving to Oz. My bad. Shing made chicken with spring onion and ginger sauce in the evening, which was frickin' awesome and I ate half of shropshire, if shropshire was the dinner.

We're getting out. Of here. And you'll never. Find us again.

Yesterday, Rex and I had the clever idea of going to the nearby Eco Sainsburys. By which, I mean, Tom wanted to get Fallout 3 for the low low price of 27/29 quid. Which it was. And I was exceptionally happy as I have heard it is for apocalyptic wastelands, as vaginas are for sex. Or something. We proceeded to utilise the evil that is starbucks to get a caffeine hit, but I was too excited about Fallout 3 to care much for the coffee, which is near blasphemy, if it wasn't for it being Starbucks coffee.

Today i have mostly been celebrating mother's birthday by taking her to Kew, or at last meeting her there and mum getting me in for free with her crazy membership tickets of gold power. Had a nice coffee in some crazy cosy coffee shop, before entering the garden. Weather was a bit grey, but not too chilly, and it didn't rain on us. Kew was very autumnal, which I love, and I took various arty photos with my phone. We had a crappy lunch as mum fails to like food in general, so had a jacket potato and tuna in a cardboard box. Wham. Gets dark extremely late these days.

Yesterday, for some unknown reason,

I fell into a patch of deep deathly depression, full of delinquent self-pity and loathing. Possibly fueled by my lack of productivity or applying to any jobs, so wouldn't let myself see High School Musical 3 again due to brain racking guilt coursing through my nerves to the very ends of my fingertips.

Today, I threw all emo to the wind, and Rex and I went to see the excellence which is High School Musical 3 at the O2 again. Better the second time. Rockin'. This proactively made me far more happy, so I actually applied for some stupid Shell job (don't why I thought I should go for it, but by doing it, it made me happier as well). Then the evening spiralled, yes I do say that phrase quite a lot, into a housewide orgy, with limbs and flanges tangled in some unholy mess in the hallway. Then my hair was tousled and I got sleepy.

Followed by watching Obama win the US election until about 3.30am. Mmmmm democracy.

I have destructive tendencies.

I don't care anymore, but I care I don't care. I hate all my inadequacies, all my missed chances and my inability to make use of my dull and uninteresting strengths. I hate my fear of perusing something radically different, my lack of ambition but the fire of competition and self pride that holds me back inexplicably. I hate my immaturity, my desperate requirement for sympathy, attention and compliments. I hate that I can't sing, or play, or achieve what I wish I could. I hate that everyone else can, and have better control of their negative emotions. I feel I'm being left behind by everyone else who is growing up and taking responsibility while I'm living off of my Dad's death money *waves hands spookily*. I want everyone to love me and attend to me, but also for everyone to leave me along.

I want coffee. I want but I can't provide myself with anything. I want some light in the dark. And a purpose, a muse and a reason. I need the sun and blue skies. I need tears. I hate my body and my fitness and I need something to drag me out of this pit. I'm scared to start but I don't know what I'm clutching onto. I don't even have the effort to write lyrics. Just the effort to bum with fury. I have destructive tendencies.

As many people stayed over

mainly due to the closure of the blackwall tunnel, we wibbled over to a random cafe in the centre of town, which was adequate, and Ad ran off without paying, footing us with the huge bill for his orange juice. How we loathe his chaotic mannerisms and tendancy to steal newly born infants from our ample bosoms.

We/I then recovered somewhat, before heading on down to Mile End, to see all the pretty fireworks, amongst the puddles. Very good, with music and crazy moving crane stars with fire spurting out of them. We resisted the fairground and headed back. Very good for freeness. We watched Britannia High once we got back. I think it was the second episode, and therefore crap and as a collective have decided against persuing it anymore.

The Brie, The Bullet and The Black Cat

During the day we worked our iddy biddy fingers right to the metaphorical bones to clean our house to a presentable standard for the dinner party we played to host that evening. A murder mystery party that is. In attendance:

HUGHES LE GRANDBUTTE(Dan) - Deputy Mayor of Casablanca
EDITH LE GRANDBUTTE(Tracey) - his wife, a former dancer
NICOLE LE GRANDBUTTE(Shing) - their daughter
OTTO VON PINKELWURST(Trev) - a Gestapo officer, fanatical and possibly mad.
KIRK RANSOM III(Moi) - an American who runs Kirk's African Cafe in downtown Casablanca
COUNTESS BOGOV(Boon) - an exiled Russian aristocrat
MONSIEUR OILY-CARTE(Rex) - booking agent for the Moulin Bleu in Paris
PIERRE PAYANSKI(Adam) - a 24 year old half-Russian poet
CHERIE BOOT(Raffle) - a French cabaret singer in her mid-20s
INGRID PITH(Beth) - a busty Danish art dealer

Excessive humour ensued, with the majority at some of the shocking accents that were on display during the night's festivities. Needless to say, my American accent was a shambles, but I slowly found consistency in performing some slow texan drawl, as it gave me time to think of words while trying to keep in my accent. Unsurprisingly, Trev was awesome as a Gestapo officer, Dan ended up playing a impotent character whose wife had many an affair, including with me, and much mess was made with vast quantities of wine being spilled by the Nazi fraternity.

More surprisingly was that Dan and I guessed the murders correctly. What wasn't surprising was who one of the murders was. Just so bad.

Great time had by all, I can now shave off the care bear stubble I have haphazardly grown, and life can return to normal after a large proportion of my housemates are safely locked behind bars.

Photos to come.

General Ramblings and Observations by Tom of Earth: a cryptic emotionally-driven look into the life of times of the infamous sock wearer, gadget-whore, unintentional blasphemer, hypocrite, servant of Xenu, Pastafarian, absurdist and thantophobic...without me, its just aweso

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