there's no adverts in my cheese (yeah)
there's no adverts in my hair
there's no adverts in my candy floss
and there's no adverts on my chair

there's no adverts in my ickle dog
no adverts in my underwear
then why for godamn motherfucking sake
are there adverts in microsoft freeware

thank you thank you - to the bar my fellow alcohol fiends.

Later on this Blog: The mystery of the mysterious reflective surface mystery

I can't help but notice

I'm eating fruit and fibre Tesco style. not that there's a tesco style to eating cereal, but the .... *gives up*

Had a french dude for lecture today he was all up in our crib like "hey guy stop hacking my server", tho he's leaving at end of february? dammit, luckily "another woman will take my place", which made me gaffaw, tho it wasn't heard over the noise my lion of a stomach was making.

man I'm tired. whoops broke the router *sidles away*

I feel a bit ill now, I blame prince of persia, couldn't sleep last nite so played it till late, then I was like argh sleep lecture wibble. I should prolly work...

Random Quote

"why does swiss cheese? - because they can't bacon" - combination of stu and me, woo

Don't you just hate

. I do sometimes, its not good, spread the love my darling readers. Either that or extraction of the smackdown is paramount (or universal... gaffaw... wibble). enough.

Beware of the Lobster Kitty.

I saw the man known as Corne yesterday, and had like one of the most awesome tutorial type devices ever, nearly a 30min talk all about stuff, very cool. Unfortunatly he suggested I should do a phd, now my decisions are in termoil again. Time for Rage Against The Machine I fear.

We're hopefully going to the lemmy tonight depending on varying factors from tickets to turn out to if I don't die from lack of cheese within the next 23 seconds, more news on this later.

High juice time (pause) - excellent.

Nick went away forever today! ARGH, well forever being till 20th may, not good, he's going to Hide-my-Hoven in Hollyland. I suspect this signifies the beginning of the end of my rest-bite before semester of ultimate work that is worth half my degree!

~~~Abdula has returned~~~

Random Quote

"There is no one alive who is Youer than You" - Dr. Seuss


Some people may not want to read this due to spoilers but they be crazy wack.

Saw episode 100 of smallville, twas quite good but the whole concept was already done in Angel (I will remember you) and done much better in it. Something missing from the smallville ep I suspect.

word to the wiggle

damn landlord keeps turning up randomly and letting people walk round house, totally against our contract and it got me out of bed and having to apply clothes this morning. I'd bring the smackdown but due to me being at home its locked in my two-key safebox for outside use....

Went to la pub of ramming last nite with just dave and pete but was awesome night and we were like "vun!!!!, two!!!!, threeee!!!, voooof!", bonus points. Me and dave also opened up a can of weirdness on the bar dude but asking for shots in pint glasses and meat flavoured crisps. Damn we're wacky.....dang

this site is still one of the best sites on the internet:

I seem to continually have the "little bit of sick little bit of sick" feeling, tis annoying, I blame robinsons high juice and alcopops. pop. pop.

I'm shivering so much now I gonna stop writing this and have some lamb grill steak. man its good

Random Quote

"Vagina Power!" - Storm from the X-men

Don't Read This

Just had a great conversation with Dave and Louis lasting like 2 hours or more about religion, belief, good evil and moral, below is not directly related to what we talked about, but mainly my exasperation with humans. Its quite rambling as well, mainly due to the alcohol that I consumed earlier, tho at the moment has lost all effect. maybe.

In the end everything seems like nothing gets anywhere, I've seen so many arguements/discussions, so little resolution or conclusion. For instance I take every comment on slashdot as an example, especially in relation to Google or Microsoft and ethical issues, everything continually bounces around. Its fair duos that people share their views and opinions and I'm not saying they shouldn't express them or whatever, but no one ever has an answer that anyone can believe in and so much effort is spent in this continual circle of arguments and conflicting views that it really does seem like our existence loses some sort of progress due to everything that occurs. Again even this comment is useless and just a view and not useful in the slightest, it won't change anything, it won't put anything in particular perspective. Most people either believe or don't believe something, people are naturally stubborn, along with stupid and good, but still stubborn. And in the end its all in context, lets take the example of "Do no evil" the apparent slogan of Google. No one can really define Evil in itself, and in the end its probably just in retrospect.

Dilemmas whether ethical, moral, religious, or just basically humane can't be black and white, and its that very fact that make every decision, every factor or experience in life difficult. No one ever said life was easy, no one ever claimed that beliefs, views and solutions were simple, even though people expect or hope them to be.

I sometimes worry whether I should be out there throwing views around. "Making a difference", but also it seems easier to just take everything as it comes and do what I do. I'm sure this is the easiest way out, but I've noticed it involves less arguements and conflicts, but thats just on the micro scale. In the large context of things I'm not only a hypocrite, and completely complacent not to mention ignorant and neive beyond my comprehension. Though perhaps this realisation is a revalation in itself. Though probably not. Also I can't help but feel this post is everything that its arguing against, but hey I'm not perfect.

I'm going to stop now before I say something that makes even less sense that what I just said and is just the work of my busy typing hands. Once more regular readers can strike this post off the record. More humourous shinanigans to follow.

Just adding this for interest this is google china (censored) and this is google ameriland (uncensored as such). The search is tiananmen. Don't sue me.

Post number 306! word to ya mother

I prolly should have changed jeans from yesterday due to mud stainage, and I've noticed my farting is becoming uncontrollable and my feet smell.... wanna go out with me? oh yeah ya do...

as Dave says i "need a cork"... dang diggy dang

Had awesome night at firehouse with Sam and Beax and then at Rileys with Sam, much fun, tho slight drunkenness mainly on Sam's part :P Also I need to improve my skill da la poolage.

I came up with a cunning theory in the shower today but can't remember it... *waits for it to reappear in his head*... omg it worked! yeah anyway, everyone should wear dissolveable clothes, this is for many reasons: 1) More excitement when it rains 2) weight loss due to people running for home/a place to hide when it rains 3) Keeps the economy going due to continual buyage of clothes... though this occurs due to women anyway..... dammit my feet really do smell.

furthermore I know this is obvious but many people still don't get it: Wolverine could have ANYONE. apart from maybe superman, but superman doesn't count cos he's not cool in the slightest.

Finally I'd like to apologise to anyone who doesn't get a reply when they text/msg me on msn, this is mainly due to me leaving my phone in random places and the fact I don't sit at my pc continually! yes its hard to believe but sometimes I go downstairs and once a month venture out the house!.... I need to stop using exclamation marks as well, they're for people who can't express themselves through words alone... or something equally smart.

nite fools.

Random Quote:

"I'm not the man I was, I'm more jaded than the first, I'm what you expected, what you didn't and everything inbetween. I am me but so detached from me, I'm nearly you. But nothing quite so dis-simliar." - a quote close to my heart/feet/ketchup holder

Don't ask, just do

HOWTO make a noble fruit helmet for your cat

in further news I just cooked 16 sausages, sounds like a sausage fest to me (note: 23512th time I've used that joke)

shizer I not done a proper blog in ages, and prolly never will do *gaffaws* yeah that didn't make sense, wanna fight? interestingly all my work is now in, and I can take a chill pill.

Place of Interest: I managed to tell a group of girlies that our house was falling apart when the landlord was right nearby and I didn't realise, I promptly hid in Nick's room. I'll sue his ass.

For all those people with a "control people on a computer who arn't actually there but play a set of clips according to the commands you enter, mostly hot women, doing sexy things, or teasing, the bitchs, i kill them!" fetishes check this out, one more for the road.

Lately in my chilled out state I've been playing too many computer games, Prince of Persia: Two Thrones pwns. and Pete and I have been hammering out some X-men Legends 2, cos we're cool like that.

Random Quote

"life's getting up and not dying" - Your master

Yesense - Ep031

Young Chuck Norris

Young Chuck Norris - SNL

yeah... yeah... YEAH! Give one file - get one free!

oh and meat

beer and clothing in New Pork

have u noticed that I have 5 min left before I suspected I would leave to go to campus... damn its a long way... but I have work to do... damn.

new timetable for semester 2! I seem to have the inverse square tangent vector of last semester timetable, 1 empty day and 4 busy ones. damn my foolish choices. ARGH deadline tomorrow to campus ->

I bought my parents 50 trees btw, seemed cheaper than the donkey option. but then I thought, "hold your horses *gaffaw* 50 quid ain't that much for a donkey".. but its a lot for a student. not that I'm buying a student. but I am a student. whose buying the donkey. except not. just trees. shh go away now....

Random Quote

Shin: Device for finding furniture in the dark” - Anonmyous... anonomou... no one knows who wrote it innit bruv....

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?” - Tom Snyder - rofl awesome.


try to scam multi-global corporations.... it doesn't work.

also -> shizer

internal conversation I had with myself:

(while walking in the loo)
Me: You going to the toilet?
Me: No I'm going to masterbate in some pre-stored urine

well I dunno do i...

Ah yes...

The Truth Behind Macs? - Google Video

well fantastic

I've some how made a java program that requires 55gb 28gb of Ram, and thats a poorly calculated probably highly too low figure. not only that this was my small set of sample data... I've made 24mb of files be represented by 55gb 28gb of data, as dan said:

"it's so far ahead of it's time it needs a computer from 50 yrs in the future to be able run it"

but lets concentrate on more pressing matters (not trouser related), following my successful dissertation (i.e. I finished it without panik death night before deadline) I've decided planning things rules. However more importantly I saw a blackbird do a backflip on the way back from costa the other day.

I have also discovered a few theories I'd like to share with everyone. 1) attaching cctv cameras to the tv's that display it is clever, as it tends to make people look directly at it and 2) the tom has a gravitational pull that only effects slow old people forcing them to career in front of him in the high street. oh and they should only sell energy efficient bulbs. make sense

Hair Status: Dense enough to shield brain from bio-toxic radiation.

I spent over 2 hours the other day in Smiths trying to find a decent book to buy with my vouchers but no such luck. I nearly bought Origin of Species, which neatly leads me onto the fact I want Great Books of the Western World by britannica. Then again could just read classic books in 1 minute.

Random Quote

"you're a strange little creature" - Louis describing me....

lucid awesomeness

mmm you can't beat unidentified white fish for breakfast.... I think I had a lucid dream last night, tho my recall isn't too good, tho I did wake up twice, around the times when REM sleep should roughly be. What I do remember is realising it was a lucid dream and taking control but then worrying that because I realised I was gonna wake up. What I actually did was hazy, but I remember deciding I needed a super power and it occured.

May not have been a lucid dream tho as it didn't occur to me to do a reality check, apart from super power thing. Twas cool anyway.

Talking of me and cool, when I was drunk the other nite I attempted a commando roll across my bed to access the sinkifying area, unfortunatly I fell off half way through to my doom. Ah well at least I didn't get told off for singing New York New York.

Also I had a cunning topic of conversation in La Ram the other nite, if girl's have a utereus, what do guys have in place of it? I concluded we must have a ballist *giggles at the word ballist* as such to help cope with potential horizontal situations. Everyone else was like Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

I need to read some philosophy I think, so I can talk poshly and with an air of knowledgeableness around me. But until then I'll just wish Rachel an awesome time skiing and not to fall over tooooo much... well maybe if u wanna :P

Random Quote

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.” - Buddha - well he raises a good point

hey guess who hasn't posted for ages

well your wrong, now shut up and let me expell my knowledge and humour in a tightly packed ramble of wit and intrigue comparable with many a successful travelator. You may have noticed that I've lacked updates, this surprisingly isn't due to my fantastic golden shanks but because I'm a bit shit. Luckily every now and then I wrote down a note to blog about..... let the knowledge pour.

*shuffles notes*... k apparently I need to extrapolate my fondness of words beginning with the word e, for instance, erogenous, erroneous, extrapolate, etc...Also top tip for packing clothes in suitcases: leave hangers on, much easier to unpack and less hassle for your minions later on.

Twas Rexxor's birthday celebratory shindig on 7th and we went "down tha dawgs". Mucho awesome, with rex hacking everyone up and winning half the national global income of Luxemborg. suspicious if you ask me, or anyone within a 5 mile radius. maybe.

Next day after a series of coach and train dilemmas I arrived in time for a Mike Birthday shindig which resulted in mike being WAY too drunk and possibly evacuating some sort of acid out of his stomach, which probably should have been put in quarentine.

hmm I can't help but feel the internet is slower than wading through a pool of granite. luckily I finished my dissertation in time copies available on request, whoop... but I got 5000 words for thursday morning... craptastic.

Random Quote

"accidently d/led "black guy fucks his mum" instead family guy" - Dan..yes dan

Photo Fest!

Dan's birthday kicked off to a tongue-tastic start!....

...followed by some excellent camera-work, apart from rachel's ghost shoulder, dan's ghost bottle and me not telling tracey what I was doing :P....

...this could possibly be rex, damn UV lights...

...holy retro man! which one is trev!?!?....I am...

...what a fine looking OzPom I see before me...

...."hallo my friend" claimed Sanchez "fosters me up oz-boi"... possibly....

..."achh aye" extrapolated Danny along with other persumably scottish stereotypical phrases....

....holy crap....

...damn russians, taking our food, taking our wives, taking us from behind....

...then mike's birthday was like "crap, bottle of wine. down it.. .crap."...

...holy external christmas tree batman!...

,,,someone got hungry

Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris Facts: "Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down. "

"Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies"."

Check what he says himself!

Yesense - Ep030

Welcome my children

Yes I feel I am doing "the Jesus Thang" and ressurecting my insides, I feel some what epistolary and less precarious than the average woman who just married a dolphin....I mean its called Cindy dammit!

I've always found that my hair tends to explode disdainfully in a shower of sparks and people questioning my intended sexuality, however I think I've completed the unthinkable and reached hair so long I could become a professional wig impersonator.

shit I need to pack and then off to the land which I sometimes call exeter! whoop whoop

Random Quote

"okay everybody for my next miracle, I'm gonna turn water... into funk!" - Jesus Christ

and illness strikes

Thats right gentle reader, your humble blogger has be struken down by an illness so vile that one proceeded to vomit continually throughout the night of New Years Celebrations every 15minutes. props to Rachel, Rex, Tracey and Dan for not stabbing me in the face and dumping me in a large natural waterway, where the source may be a lake, a spring, or a collection of small streams, known as headwaters.

Never watch Poirot when your ill and have very delusional dreams, especially don't watch it and then read a few pages of da vinci's biography, as the result is crazy dreams trying to solve mysteries in paintings. However I did temporarily manage to lucid dream, after I broke my arm and managed to pull the bones out my throat I was like argh, realised I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up, was crazy like I was tearing through into reality, awesome.

check this cat who rang 911 for its owner

oh and to continue la theme Joss Whedon in his humourous glory

Anyway New Years Eve was awesome! until I destructonmanated myself on something, thanks loads Rachel and Beth for letting us destroy your house in drunkenness! some dope dressing up notably, mexicans, french ppl, scotsmen, hippies, russians and of course australiens, whoopa. I ate half my moustache thought... shat its dinner time, brb...mmm I like mince and I didn't throw it up, and rachel came round with my things woo thanks a lot!... anyway party was good, though I just learnt it may have been some uncooked chicken I ate, who knows

I apologise for lack of normal combustoire but my stomaches reinacting the second world war down there

General Ramblings and Observations by Tom of Earth: a cryptic emotionally-driven look into the life of times of the infamous sock wearer, gadget-whore, unintentional blasphemer, hypocrite, servant of Xenu, Pastafarian, absurdist and thantophobic...without me, its just aweso

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