and so the day of "get drunk or die trying avec la stu" occured, as u can see I was on panarama mode....

..."my eyes" convoluted Mike...

...again somethings not quite right here... can't quite put my finger on it... as I don't really want to touch stu...

...everything seemed fine, we were back, in one piece, no furniture destroyed...but wait!...

...the celotape of doom once more entrapped something human in nature!...

...artfully exhibited by chloe here...

... it was all smiles.. untill the dreaded gravity once more reared its ugly head...

..."arghgagh" pondered Stu.. chloe fell down the stairs in style...

News Flashing!

There's a fecking squirrel in the bin! - awesome

Sunday Morning Songs is an awesome album, get it fools


I was all like "hey cool there's a midget" (to myself), unfortunatly I then remembered that kids exist, which was a downer.

Strangely for the second week running I spent 18 quid on food, yet somehow it was totally different, which was nice. Luckily huge bag of baking potatos is like 84p today, which makes me warm and fuzzy inside.

I gonna go to campus all arvo today for various reasons stemming from work, and work and some more work. I'm a bit smelly tho, cos even tho I've had 2 showers in the past 12 hours, I am wearing the same clothes from yesterday, aha good plan get my washing outta machine....


I apologise to anyone who just heard my outburst of swearing just then, I tripped over my mp3 player and thought the world had ended.

Last night i read this awesome book for like 2.5 hours called "if chins could kill: confessions of a B Movie actor" - its the autobiography of the most awesome actor ever, Bruce Campbell. If you don't know who he is watch the 3 Evil Dead movies and u will understand the legend that he is.

The latest news on campus seemed to suggest trouble ahead...

...luckily for the posse the situation was handled with poise, intrigue and more than a dab of beer.... case people are confused, this photo is indeed to scale, my pint is the same size as the game machine...

...the pain and drunkenness was immense, however I cunningly stapled mike's hand to his face in a display of intrigue...

....which stu pleasured himself to for a while....

its quite lucky that

nothing in our mouth tastes of anything, imagine if ur teeth tasted of something, and ur inside cheek tasted of something else, u'd be like "hey guy stop hacking my mouth"

I wanna get a t-shirt from cos it seems like a thing I would do

hmm I remember this feeling, its like that time I drank lots of beer, and then went to bed and woke up and was like "ow".... i.e every other day then.

photos the later.

Random Quote:

the tom: "say sommit funny I need a quote for my stupid blog"
mike: "don't trust oregon scientific cos they will screw u good"
the tom: "I die a bit inside"

I want to dance...

"May the guardian elephants hear my wish to collaborate with all the musicians of nature's orchestra. I want to see through the eye of the elephants. I want to join the dance that has no steps.

I want to become the dance. "

My cunning snowman, its a bit crap quality cos I havn't quite worked out the renderer yet, d'oh....

cool game again

Nearly as cool as the blueprint one

and a little bit of rofl


I don't mean to alarm anyone

or everyone but the Earth's gravitational pull has declared war on/has become obsessed with my jeans. So if anyone sees me with my jeans round my ankles... feel free to say "hey guy of unspecified origin, stop hacking up my eyes".

Today I have mostly been making a snow man, I shall show pictures later when I can be bothered/have done it. Someone remind me to go to the post-grad open day on friday, woop.

ew little bit of sick little bit of sick

holy crap in my pants (not actually) check this drawing in ms paint, like whoa.

my bananas are too green, tis very annoying, I blame Daniel Beddingfield mostly, though Craig David would disagree and claim it was the combined forces of Beddingfield and Scot Joplin. and he'd be right.

Random Quote

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.” - Emo Philips (haw haw his name is emo, awesome)


Look at this little doggy walking on its hind legs!! awww..... wait a minute....thats a kid....dressed as a dog! the bastards!

I havn't left the house today!!!

this wasn't due to being chained up to a wall by Mike and whipped an exponential amount of times. Its cos I'm lazy and like "hey man stop hacking my room".

Watched arsenal match, man it was awesome, and we won! so awesome to the 2nd degree, no walcott tho :/

whoa suddenly mega tired, I forgot to shower today as well, so everythings falling apart - finished my nature inspired algorithm tho, so woooo or sommit

nrgh will blog better tomorrow, for now sleep

motherfuckers gonna drop the pressure

apparently, but I wouldn't go there due to my background and lack of socks. Last night was drunk night with stu night, which involved us lot getting drunk with stu in da ram. awesomely we saw Zoe and she was doing the quiz, so we decided to do it as well to show them who wears the hat. Apparently it was Ronald Mcdonald but we weren't aware of that at the time... anyway we came joint 2nd with like 5 teams, and through varying random means of deciding we lost and zoe's team won (by won I mean came 2nd) so we killed everyone and went to the cheesy chip location ->

check this game, its incredibly addictive and makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside

Arsenal v Real Madrid 2nite, whoopa

I need to still do work, while listening to some Acid Jazz prefereably, acid jazz is awesome, along with other dance and rythmn based genres. Right to the loo, but first check this:

Random Quote

"Have you tried tieing a knot in a piece of rope thats only 1 inch long?" - Stu - after some cunning fallic talk, he got owned (cheers pete for the writage downage)

oki tbh

I'm pulling my hair out here, this program seems to be taking a life of its own and do stuff what I'm not telling it to do, the bastard...

Last night we were like, to new spoons, and then my phone was like wait foolio, and then I was like wtf. I walked out side and Nick appeared and I was like "whiskey tango foxtrot" I knew it!. which was awesome, nicks here for the week. he brought back edam! edam I tell u edam!

I don't really have much to say on this post, I'm really pissed off with my program tbh and varying aspects of my dreams which are getting worrying/annoying. I bought food tho so everything should be fine.

Pro Evolution Soccer is awesome.

Happy Birthday Krissy!!!!

Random Quote

in reply to Exeter City not wanting the uni football team "churning" up their pitch

"they should play on concrete the wusses, I remember at skool we used to play on a bed of razor blades, needles from heroine addicts and the bodies of fallen teammates" - someone special

awesome vid

Awesome car advert from the 80s

man I'd want that car if I thought I could do those stunts

here's a similar saab one, not quite as good but quite funny

following on...

...from that link the other day, check this out the IO brush! awesome music as well, check this out dave!

right so it appears our house, or specifically our stairs outside my room are haunted... fuckers

I heard on the grapevine

that susie the grape slept with julian the grape, which has sent ripples throughout the Vitaceae family for obvious reasons. that I won't elaborate. because they're obvious. and you know them. probably. I drank too much water today.

Thats right, I failed to get up again, however smallville was dope so I'll allow myself the chance to not die brutally to doggy's stare of doom and candyfloss. Check out the Very Best of Euphoric Dance Breakdown, its pretty sweet, though in the end all my dance albums seem to have roughly the same songs arranged differently with 2 or 3 new ones added.

Dave's not back till tomorrow cos his engine went to the place where all engines go when they pass on. down the garage. Luckily ad started a blog, so I can fill my time with insulting him more efficiently when he's not online or rooting through my rubbish bin. (yeah okay I nearly said garbage, blah blah)

I bought some loo roll, start using it fools, the curtains all used up now....

I'll try and find a cool photo to put on here for all ur visually aroused people

Random Quote:

"damn that non drinking attitude. whoever invented it needs mr and mrs spank to pay a trip to botty land" - some Crazy Dutch Bastard

There's a fucking pimpmobile outside our house right now!!! awesome

interesting dreams part 5billion

yes, well once more I had some crazy dreams which disturbed me, the first one I remember was to do with the uni or school organising a field trip, it was either u get to fly over the exeter/orpington in a shuttle for 70quid, or for 400 quid you got to go to space in a shuttle, and I was worrying that I was too poor and I couldn't afford it.

Next dream involved us going to a club in london and getting quite drunk, tho at some point I managed to get a job at the Lemmy, but they were first of all handing out a big bowl of heinikan that needed drinking.. interesting. and the I remember having to unclog a nacho machine, and various other weird duties, and Mike got fired. error. Anyway, after this club situation, I lost everyone apart from Adam and was quite drunk and walking around, and decided to walk into an ibm building to get a job (at 5am) and I managed to wrangle my way to talk to some important dude in his office, and I managed to be edgy enough to get a job offer, he offered me 17.33 an hour or something but I wasn't sure so we haggled about, anyway I got the job and was like woo, but then trains confused me and I got lost, but ended up home eventually and tried to tell my dad but he had a go at me cos my mum was asleep due to the shuttle decision or something...

in conclusion I must be scared of getting a job, the fact I have no money and that I keep getting lost...not that i do...hmmm... to the bar->

if this wasn't so out of focus, this dude has a massssssive pile of glasses, he was pissed off I asked for a photo tho, whoops, luckily alcohol shielded me from all., btw Dave's de la Hardcore's band (Zurich is Stained) is awesome, check them out sometime

Random Quote

"Let there be light, or I shall bring da smackdown thusly" - heard by an earwitness

Hey girlies, I'm wet.

See, this is what happens when I leave the house, I get more soggy than someone whose got a degree in wetness from the university of OhMyFuckingGodItsWetHereWhyDidn'tSomeoneTellMeBeforeISignedUp... yeah...

so in other news I'm behind on my work, Arsenal lost and my feet still smell.

Luckily we got drunk two nights ago and it resulted in much beating up with cushions, mainly of Stu, so he now has a lump on his head and my side is severed, or other such device. We then walked all the way to the kebab shop and back just for food, damn we're cool.

no really, I'm actually freezing, stupid weather. I also had a crazy dream that we were in Bromley for Dan's b-day, and we went in BHS for some reason, and I kept like semi-blacking out for a few seconds, and for some reason I called it Halluncinating, so I went to the pharmacy counter and the dude gave me like a handful pills that were HUGE, and cost me 11 quid goddammit. Then we went to spoons, and confusion and I was scared at one point. Then I woke up but was still asleep, and my brain was like wtf.

Then Louis played stereophonics really loudly and I was like ah.

Random Quote

"Fuck off you fucking internet" - what I just said to my computer cos the internet is being shit.

Photo Fest, whoop

next on "When Passing Out Goes Bad"....

...meanwhile in the Ramcave (see what I did there), Pete and Mike were looking overly confident.....

..."mwahahah" conserved Tom "feel my head halo!... as opposed to any other halo I may possess!"....

..."oh golly gosh" concaved our two heros "whatever shall we do in our weakened state!"...

..."mwahahah" dribbled Tom "victory is mine"... further news, who woulda guessed this is on my route to campus!.. well I would of...

...can't quite place my finger on it but something isn't quite right here....

...(insert italien accent) hey, its maaario!...

...somehow I managed to capture an action shot of mike's demise...

..."argh, mprphllpfflf" exploited Mike in anguish...


The Toxic Advenger!

my french dude is leaving

but he did just say "i was thinking of make joke about where xml er here, but don't worry it isn't" wtf?

Where buckets and pegs collide

I wish I could be bothered to post more, but it does wear the tom out thinking and the such like...

I woke up at 8 today, and went to campus in a strange and turbulent move, which resulted in me getting annoyed with blue room computers, boosting pepsi's vending machine economy and creating a sexy totem pole on Houdini. Then Jake from hollyoaks (who happens to take my modelling course) entered the room, and the conversation went thus:

Jake:"err, ahh hmm"
Me:"errr mm hey"
J: "Hi, just er checkin er the um houdini working?"
M: "oh um yeah its er good?"
J: "k... er... you got um book?"
M: "yeah er its um good um?"

talking of conversations:

Doc: Well, I'm afraid you have tuberculosis. I need to know, are you a creationist?
Patient: What does that have to do with anything?
D: Well, I could give you the drugs that would cure Tuberculosis as it was discovered in 1937, or the modern drugs that treat the disease as it has evolved into today.
P: What's so great about the modern drugs?
D: They're intelligently designed...

this dude rules

apparently BBC wanna charge tax for owning pcs as well as tvs. hmph

For today's lesson children:

I direct you all to Dave's blog as he's expertly fashioned a photo collaboration of last nights extremely awesome events, click on the picture my loyal readers and let wonders amaze and amazements wonder:


I once said to mike

"hey mike" for that was his name at the time "if I was superman would you still love me" to which he didn't but should have replied "stop wearing my mom's thong and I'll think about it"

You may have noticed I havn't blogged for a while, I havn't cos I've been busy fighting a strange varient of Dolphin death, luckily I managed to give it to Gavin, Chloe and Louis, so my crime-fighting duties continue.

I don't mean to alarm anyone but not only did I wash my sheets but I also bought DJ Yoda tickets. This doesn't relate to it but its awesome and I want one. (don't click it dave u showed it to me!).

We had a power cut yesterday which resulted on us paniking, followed by my sexual arousal, I mean use of road works lights and phones to illuminate out souls. Then I revealed by laptop from a hidden orifice and we proceded to watch Austin Powers 2 and The Lion King. dude I'd never seen the Lion King before, I was like dang I can't wait to be king.

Random Quote

"I'm so far ahead of the game, I've gone home, showered, got changed and gone to the pub to celebrate already" - woot


I seem to have a rare varient of dolphin influenza, however this cheered me up:

Hassell my Hoff - Hooked on a feeling

I've had masses of requests

to post some photos of my naked body. though when I say masses, I mean Stu, and when I mean "post some photos of my naked body" I mean "to shut the hell up".....

I think its time for a photo invasion.... actually that sounds a bit crap


Here is a cunning reflective device me and dave created allowing ultimate viewage of the door below my window!

once more Sarah Michelle Gellar asks us to do the impossible....

....cross your eyes and focus on the image in the middle, 3Darama!

I feel ill -> food time

General Ramblings and Observations by Tom of Earth: a cryptic emotionally-driven look into the life of times of the infamous sock wearer, gadget-whore, unintentional blasphemer, hypocrite, servant of Xenu, Pastafarian, absurdist and thantophobic...without me, its just aweso

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