"you crazy grade speaker type person with a stick..." - Stu


tbh, why the fudgerygar was a dustbin dude in our backalley at 6am fucking shit up. damn him.

what do you call a black guy flying a plane?

so in conclusion yesterday was much chillage, cruised around town muchly, got new arsenal shirt, its more booshank than a robot made of sand, that eats sand and attempts to overthrow the government via a complicated system of levers and pulleys.

Following this excursion we decided it would be a good time to go to the ram for some early evening relaxin and maxing. More performances occured there, and some alcohol. Me and al then went over to girlies for poker. We resulted in alex getting extremely hammered, and after some friends game disappearing home.

On my return to our humble abode I found his shoes scattered throughout the aformentioned house, along with keys. Excellent. Still woke up at 6 this morning for some reasons, damn them all.

So to attack the debate of batman begins and sin city - which is better - i have decided to relate to the matter as i drop the bomb. Batman Begins is awesome. Sin City is awesome. 'nuf said, now someone tell mike that tim burton's 1989 movie sucks in comparision to Batman Begins.

And don't get me started on superman again. New family guys good btw and shizer I need to get ready for my holiday. Last Doctor Who was awesome btw, check it.

A pilot you racist.

Random Quote:

"A solitary killer, the fire truck stalks its prey...."
"hmmm, well since you ask louis, I find this meatloaf rather shallow and pedantic"
"bible fight!!!"
"attention restaurent customers...testicles...that is all" - collection of Family Guy quotes.. duh

Yesterday with a stick

After a lack of wakeage, I found i was still drunk as u can probably see from my past post, I then decided to watch superman... here's why I think its dumb:

  • Intro to the whole thing is over half the film, I mean wtf
  • Sucked compared to Smallville storyline-
  • He's like, hey darrr wobble
  • Lois lane dies.. so he goes "hey why don't I just fly around the earth really quickly.. i mean wtf.
Anyway after that me and nick went to terrorise people at la open day, with increasing vigor, pete was totally busy, sarah highly burnt, zoe was like "woo" and alex was like "hazaar". In conclusion we decided the best thing to do was go to the ram, we started drinking. More people arrived, alex got drunk, there were free cheerleaders! and free pizza!

so was quite successful. We then went to arena where everyone was totally tired and not up for drinking, but in the end we manged to dance the entire time, which was pretty impressive. Ankles hurt, nargh

Random Quote:

"I got ma swagger back" - Will Smith

Yesense - Ep023

aha my suspicions of my drunken state are true as I just got confused halfway through my shower cos i was getting wet.... I mean what the jiggady pokery? hmmm muffins.... HI MIKE!!!

booshankarma batman!

whooooop, went to arena last nite, I think i still drunk, me and pete were like "hey dancing and whoop" and girlies were there. Stu was there and he was like "whooop" and i was like "heeeeeey" and other people were like "whoooopa". And finally in general most people were booshank.

ow... I just poked my eye out, this is troublesome by all accounts, cunningly I not sooo drunk that I can't bold up me post, I am the win. feeling very lostprophets.

Yesense - Ep022


Saw Mr Dave ala Hardcore's band today, Cassette Ideal. Totally Awesome, I got a vid of their whole set, people must check them out fools!

Also in other news the F1 race today was total shit cos like most cars didn't even race, just minardis, jordan and Ferrari, cos michlin tires were made of duck billed platapus urine. So then the race was about as interesting as this:

Random Quote:

"dang boi, aye cam' on me trac0r to dis Formula Number 1 racin' festival fo'shizzle and I saw zip man, dis be da shizer, back to my flippity floppity floo" - a non existence american

Yesterdays Pictures (I just found)

"Hmm what a ponderous affair" queried the ever sober Mike...

"oh golly gosh" exclaimed Mike "its raining men! Hallelujah!"...

The horrendous aftermath of such a precipitation....

And finally a small animation to describe what exactly happened to me yesterday:

What the muppet?

Excellent. Once more i have proved my ultimate cunningness via the act of drinkin. If I could in fact describe last nite in a series of repeating words it would be:

"muppet, mucket, muppet, mucket, muppet, mucket, muppet, mucket"

moving swiftly. It all started out so well, it was a scorcher so me alec and nick sat on deckchairs in the front avec Pimms and all. much chillage, then mike and dave came. more chillage. Then I realised I'd drunk a litre of pimms and was like "hazaar".

Everyone else at this point was like "ponderous, let us journey to the party of which Chloe's house is the venue" and i was like "nrrgghh drinkag?" etc.

This all basically ended with the arrival of us at the house party and me throwing up for 15minutes and then running home, but not before first confusing sam, zoe and beax and eating lots of random food.

Excellent..... oh wait just checked my phone and there's a few photos, but i started this post now and can't be assed to add them in. BOO shank.... hey my new keyboard is spaced differently and i keep hitting ctrl+b instead of ctrl+v, how hectic

Random Links:

Windows Update For Firefox - BooShank

Excellent Rachel Stevens Device

Hate This Frog?

Yesense - Ep021

And so another day of rampage...

And so the day of spoons and Nick Birthday celebrations began...

"I'm a ghost, woooo" exclaimed a puzzled Nick, questioning his existence...

Nick's cunning impression of a mucket...

men. Fire. Knives. whoopas!

"oh gosh darn it" cried Nick in ponderment "you fiends have Lobbed toilet papier upon my house, gyarr"

After a frightfully fraught nite of sleep once more, after a large amount of alcohol consumption the nite before, and keeping Nick up before his last exams - sorry nick! - and being hit over the head with a pineapple by a very drunk chloe..... we proceeded to the spoons at 11am yesterday for a much earned english brekkie and alcohol for the family. We proceeded to try and completly get nick drunk, which kinda work quite well in a sense, and there were large expoltions of the word "Cunt" around the place. Unluckily the drunk virus also struck down Alex, who was like "argh I be drunk". etc

Following on we went to get food from tesco, nick and alex were left wandering around like drunkard fools for a while before we collected them. Then back to our place for a magnifico bbq and many a drink which just seemed to sober up mr nick.

rite my shoulder hurts, check it:

Random Quote:

Dave: "wots up"
Mike: "lesbian romeo and juliet"
Dave: *drools*

Yesense - Ep020

Yesense - Ep019

last nite i had a horrendously horrendous dream so to "break it down for my home boys" I shall use bullet points in a sensual way:

  • Was at some point with anal john and gareth (from next door) for some reasons went home, on a road which was quite similar to our road, and was our road i guess
  • went in our front door, but there was a chinese dude and a chinese girl there who acted really really freaked out when they saw me, and I walked through into living room which was in fact a really fancy dining room Nick, Chloe and dave were in there, nick on an armchair with a weird beard and looking kinda different but the other two were the same.
  • I sat and started talking to dave, and although they seemed to know my name they didn't know me at all and i didn't live there.
  • Then a two scary mental institute people came through the door, one of them was a scary women and they started takin me away as i was kicking and screaming.
  • The general jist was that my life wasn't in fact real and i'd woken up or sommit and escaped and i was going back and they were gonna do mean things to me
at this point I woke up and was like argh and though the woman would be behind my door when i went to get a drink. but ah well it was 6am

Random Quote:

Mike: "Logitech rule"
Tom: "nah they suck, they test on lesbians"
Mike: "logitech test on lesbians.... *fills in CV and sends to Logitech*"

Yesterday In Pictures

Once more Pete's drunkan finder finger strikes again....

...."hey look" retorted Mike in wonderment "I can dargle daar blafgh" as he fell asleep...

...probably not the most cunning method of transport among the drunk nation ..

The Aftermath of mike's adrenaline, alcohol-fueled ramage, was the destruction of one kitchen avec la pomme pommes...

Right so I'm pissed off, i've written this post already but blogger died and everyone blew up but i shall write it again cos I'm cool like that

So last nite, much funny, played poker and generally caught up with girls at their crib during the day, then went to the ram to meet dave/pete/mike for much drinkage, chloe followed shortly after. They were all quite tipsy by the time I got there, and the alochol drunk did not help their sobriety. Mike managed to get so drunk that he got told he'd have to leave if he didn't stop passing out! He then disappeared never to return, dave was also quite drunk and various random talking to people proved this. In the mean time there was a conflict of interests between who was better boys or girls. After a lot of drinks and various stumblings we made it back to dave/mike/pete's crib, where the deconstruction of their kitchen had taken place with frozen chips everywhere and burnt ones in the oven. All quite cunning of mike really ;)

Random Quote:

Ad: "I hate Uri Gellar, he's a twonk"
Me: "Yeah, he's a forking bender" - me once again proving i suck

Yesense - Ep018

A highly hectic quiz thanks to the wonders that are mike.

It seemed like any other quiz, perhaps on the boring side, yet somehow something was different, perhaps it was the fact it was nick's birthday, or there was no dave, or the fact that mike was drunk. But wait, it couldn't be that mike was drunk, he's ALWAYS drunk.... but not like this!

Mike The Drunk VERSION 2!!

yes thats right, what we all thought could not happen, but it has, mike has reached a new level of drunkardness unknown to all. Here in bullet point form are some of the cunningness involved:

  • Lost volume control in the lemmy
  • Pondersome concentration and control
  • On walk back, strange directional movement and runnin insanely
  • In crib, toilet fight turned into chair welding attacks (but in jovial style)
  • Extrapolation of toilet roll through door
  • Eating a whole bowl of Archers jelly while at the same time flinging it all over the kitchen and people in the nearby direction - the aftermath of this is in the above picture :P
I have video of the jelly incident if anyone wants it but its big and poor quality and I'm very tired, but great nite, was in stitches for most of it, so cheers mike :P

Happy Birthday Nick!

Random Quote:

"daaaaaaarrrrrrrrrr" - Mike


Right, finally caught up in a cunning way, I just had a shower if that helps?


but he revising, quite silly. I seem to have developed some cunning thing where i go to town everyday, to try and curb this addiction I just got me and nick ice cream for the ice cream man.

He has a van full of happy.

The other night we had a drinkin device avec la bbq round here, with mike dave pete kryssy and chloe. There was much drunkness, peanut butter everywhere, and mike had fun "spinny dancing" around the back yard. Then following day (yesterday i think) me and nick went very strange and completley cleaned the kitchen. Its so clean it looks like no one lives there, its quite scary but we're trying to keep it like that so alex is liked shocked, possibly falls over, upsetting a passing ferret which goes on a rampage stealing large screen plasma tvs.

talking about stealing I forgot to mention my cunning cunningment to do with our favourite neighbourhood cat, Scoop McCool. I came up with teh cunnign plan that because we managed to detune his worksurface phoebia, we could train him in other arts... here's my plan:

1) train scoop to steal the first born child of every family
2) use these children to attract women
3) use these women to attract thugs
4) use these thugs to steal various things such as TVs, toy soliders, adamanitum cutlery sets and other implements of use
5) thats it...

Whoop, rite:

Random Quotes:

"hmm. i appear to have lost dave and my cheese is too mature." - Mike De Roberts

hope Ajits there and he's like "h'okay so, I be da man, with a stick... and a brick... and a tick.. that.. i lick, your dumb, calculators rule, woo!" - Someone...

my webcockms up nicks anal cavity" - Dave

Yesense - Ep017

Scoop McCool - the PHATest cat in the ghetto

Once upon a time, when the sun was at its sunniest, and the tele was at its teleiest, a boy named me exclaimed "hark, is that not a cat outside our exterior door Sir Nick" to which Sir Nick replied "eh?". Following this cunning of ponderments and riddles, the boy named me proceeded to extrapolate the door to find a friendly feline pal awaiting. From this point they became friends and many a tuna fest was had. At one point with the help of the infamous knights Mike and Pete, the feline wonderment was detune of its evil and powerful pre-crib rules, and was allowed to wander freely upon the many work surfaces it was greeted with. But the boys soon grew weary of the Sir Scoop McCool's constant requirement of edible substances, that their wish was Scoop to be gone from their hallowed halls. However, on further ponderment, Sir McCool seem to have ultimate powers of return, and only the magical queen of the other relm of McCool could return Scoop to where he and once come. The saga had ended, and all lived happily ever after, and slightly intoxicated.

Videos of This Saga(8mb each!):

Sir McCool Eating
Sir McCool Playing

More Major Updates:

My Birthday (11/05/05): Asleep and in bed for most the day, oh god I felt bad, lets not go there tbh.

Going Home Weekend (roughly a week after my birthday):

Cunningly there was a party of rexness, so I took a coach home, got delayed horrendously and ended up going to herne hill, then stuck there for nearly 2 hours, went to elephant and castle, then to charing cross where I stole a train home to orpington, woo! with just enough time for a shower and a drink before whisked off to the land of rex by mr ruffle, thank you very much for the lift, dammit I owe u for that actually. anyway much drinkin good times, jovil, and I passed out spectacularly, then had nice cooked brekkie in morning while feeling unwell. Ah well, first time i really drunk since birthday, I be cool... long trip back

Rest of Time: Super duper mega revision, which i still sucked at, didn;t drink cos was a good boy and then 4 exams, 2 went awesomely, 1 went very badly and 1 was neh. I would talk more about them but i cannot be assed as I am really peaved (who says that anymore?!) that i spilt water over my keyboard and its now fuxxored, I blame everyone who invented alcohol. thats you mr tequila, oh u make me happy, oh tequila u blah blah..... gawd i hate tequila.

Major Update Whoop:

oki so i've been too lazy to keep up-to date with all the stuff thats
happened but i'll break it down into significant events

My Birthday Celebration (10/05/05):

Finally handed in all our project work, awesome!, it probably kinda nearly failed and various other endangerments to our cause, but still its all gravy. well its wasn't actually ALL gravy, perhaps 75% of it. still it was worthwhile I suspect. Anyway following this joyous of occasions I went to the ram with stu and met alex and then mike and dave there, and they started to poison me with alcohol. Straight away i got give some sorta double tequila and rum concoction, which was not nice, and nearly made me die. Mike and Nick brought an inflatable sheep highly cunningly wrapped up that i was astonished - it worked as a good bottle top. And then the day continued supposedly. I drank lots more, then I lost memory, but this is what i have managed to piece together from people telling me and various memories:

We left Ram and went to Mike/Dave/Pete's crib, where they had made the most amazing cake in the shape of "TOM" ever, i was awesomeanated, but hammered, apparently i managed to spill large amounts of alcohol over poor alex who had to go home and get changed.

Then we may have gone to spoons, where i proceeded to get a burger alledgely, just pick up the meat, and go "ow ow, its hot" to which someone said "then put it down" and I replied with an air of cunning "no".

Then we may have go back home and i was given some sort of pernod device, then onto Arena where i was drunk, danced horrendously no doubt and met the girls, though i barely remember them. Damn my eyes

No more drink for a while...

Yesense - Ep016

Yesense - Ep015


Sorry for huge delay with posting, not that anyone cares, however, I completely restarting blogging now, and first here's two presents cos I love you all so much, possibly with ginger preserve on top...

General Ramblings and Observations by Tom of Earth: a cryptic emotionally-driven look into the life of times of the infamous sock wearer, gadget-whore, unintentional blasphemer, hypocrite, servant of Xenu, Pastafarian, absurdist and thantophobic...without me, its just aweso

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