"one man's freedom fighter is another man's terrorist!"


..nite out had by all there, though it ended with me and dan doing the can can down the middle of the road and then jumping into a large tree/bush.. followed by me pretending to be a zombie in the graveyard.

Hess also bet us 10 quid we could drink 4 aftershocks in 1 min... possibly the most foolish bet ever. so that was another 4 aftershocks each for us, and we died a horrible death to alocohol... I got an awesome script of me and Stu talkin drunk on msn, but I can't be assed to upload it cos i lost my ftp program.

wait here it is: "www.far2narf.co.uk/Blog/fuxxor.rtf"

"u shud blog ths twat" - stuart drapier - very hammered

man.. if i wasn't

so drunk i;'d be liek wo0oooogoa"?!!... still i think i rule, imanged to pull ofthe fact i was less drnk than dan, w3hich I took full advantage of....

really... nah not really but still at home a scotch egg rules, I scared jade by unleashing the orpington posse on to her phone call.... not good atall

damn alcohol rox/sux/wibble....
sleep now, lertys seef if i can still bold up shizer...

hey, why don't you...

just checked the trailer for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and for some reason I think it looks really really good, though this may be for the amount of Jim Bean in me. For some reason, although the trailer gives off a kinda cheap feel to the film ,its not a cheap and tacky feel its a cheap and rugged sorta feel, I think its gonna be a pinacle of Harry Potter films

then again, I do talk a lot of shite...

woot!!!!!: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/4730061.stm


man stuff rox, mainly jim bean and coke though.

I also believe tomorrow will rock, and I should prolly ring jade at some point.

uncunningly tracey got thrown outta spoons for being underage, even though she's older than me and I'm 20.... damn u weird bar man who wouldn't let us inconspiciously mix out drinks.

on further news, new family guy movie rules, all hail king me.

The reasons Stuart made love to that Horse

by Doctor Horse McHorseberry

Well in my humble opinion I think it stems from a varying issue of linkage and ponderment that stretches backwards forward. However without further ado, it is uncommen henceforth that with a certain pentre qui, there is a blasphormously horseusly circumstance such as the one which previals unto this current situation. Who knew that one day advances in telehorseification should lead a guy/gay to such acts is unconfoundingly similar to various religous beliefs in antarctica. My final word is, Who really thinks they are the horse if to be a horse to be that of which Stuart can possibly blah blah blah.

"hey, you wanna make him really mad louise? lets have sex on his back like we used to!"


Fuck shit ass bitch cunt, shooby-de-doo-wop

awesomely I think my pc is back to scratch.

fuck yea!

once more mankind has triumphed over microsoft windows in the battle of wits. after replacing my scuppered mobo with an awesome one, windows was like "stfu I'm gonna start" so I was like, "take this biatch!" and booted to linux, backed up some stuff and then reinstalled windows, and after a bit of toe wrestling action its all working. Quicker as well now i can use all my ram.

In other news I destroyed myself on some sort of Army Fitness Test on the running machines, cos I kinda finished my work out then did it - damn u all.

free beer w00t?

I'm too scared to check if adobe products work, damn them all.

Random Quote

"memory test failed - booting from operating system" - sexy wombman voice on my motherboard

damn u ebuyer!

man they suck this is like the 3rd time they have missed the priority shipping thing, I dunno why I bother doing it to be honest, now I gotta wait at home again tomorrow for the blasted motherboard, and its gonna take forever to fit it... grrrr

I may just go into london and see what I can do without any money... in fact I may search the internet (apparently this is a collection of porn based information "sites" which allow a "user" to learn various ways of entering a woman)... could be interesting... maybe museums and magical art galleries... damn

ah well we shall see, night ye all, and to ye all feck orf my land.

damn girl friend!

w00t, surely this is illegal, not that i'm complaining, but was flipping through channels at 12 today (lunch time) and there was this romeo and juliet thing I thought I seen before. and i was like:

"wait a second home boy, don't we get to see miss juliet's boobs in this"
and as no one else was around to reply I didn't say much else... until her boobs were indeed exposed! at midday!? awesome

anyway, I really need to go to gym but seems a long way and my damn motherboard hasn't appeared yet so i may be forced to fuck shit up with ebuyer.

damn this cottage cheest is...

...low in fat, less than 1%! thats what the Tominator is talking about. Luckily I'm talking about advice, advice from one Professor Booshank:

"Never take paracetamol for a hangover, the combination of booshankalicious alcohol and the lesser booshanked paracetamol decombobulates your liver, I choose more herbal methods, such as milk"

damn that guy is cool. aparently though some plumber got filmed pissing (damn perverts) into someone's water tank, and he's being proper rogered by the police now, what a muppet.

without a computer i may be forced to learn to read again, which could take a lot of effort and possibly me moving from this chair, which although I've already gone to the gym, seems highly unlikely occuring.

Random Quote:

"oh god, the internet's being corrupted!" - random dude on 24 season 4... muppet

dang foo, dis shit be wack

yup, you guessed it my pc's b0rked (what u didn't? muppet)....

anyway turns out yada yada jargon yada yada computer tech babble yada yada motherboard dying yada yada not enough power to agp slot yada yada graphics card over heats yada yada....

basically need new mobo, whoopie doo, however on a brighter note not only did I go to the gym and swim today, but I'm also going to the pub. Thats three exercising devices in one day (if u hadn't guessed swimming is actually classed as an exercise).

Man my dad's pc sux, still uses ie and all that mumbo jumbo. Luckily i've eaten a whole pot of cottage cheese and drank over a litre of orange juice with "JUICEY BITS!!!!!?!??!I!I!*!!"... which is funtastical mr mannering.

off to the pub u say? well I would but I not meeting the "posse" till 8.10, so I'd be early. so shh.

Random Quote:

"your very fucking shit." - random crazy girl in San Andreas.

in conclusion...

Life is like a hurricane
Here in Duckburg
Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes
It's a duck-blur
Might solve a mystery
Or rewrite history

DuckTales (oooh ooooh)
Every day they're out there making
DuckTales (oooh ooooh)
Tales of daring do bad and good
LuckTales (oooh ooooh)

When it seems they're heading for the
Final curtain
Cool deduction never fails
That's for certain
The worst of messes
Become successes


D-D-D-Danger! Watch behind you
There's a stranger out to find you
What to do? Just grab on to some DuckTales


D-D-D-Danger! Watch behind you
There's a stranger out to find you
What to do? Just grab on to some ...

CHORUS (Twice)

Not pony tales or cotton tales, no
DuckTales (ooh ooooh)


alcohol is good I suspect, pubbin last nite, large amount of drink, especially damn after shock, and strange pitchers. I went into alcohol tom overdrive once more. ah well.... my leg has a worrying twitch today but I'm sure thats meant to happen....

had to fight with my computer today to get it to start, some sorta corruption god knows if I fixed it or not, I suspect not only were my disks bit scuppered by my graphics card is suspeciously suspect.

man I say suspect a lot.


some facts:

  • One in three people will be affected by cancer at some stage in their lives
  • Heavy drinking is blamed for up to 33,000 deaths a year in the UK
  • One in Four Americans would use Nukes against Terrorists
  • One in Two school children are bullied
  • One in four adults in Britian have experience domestic violence
  • At least one in five girls and one in ten to twenty boys will be sexually abused at some point in their childhood
  • Less than one in five black people in Europe have the right to vote
  • During their lifetime, one in four women and one in eight men will require medical treatment for depression
  • Around one in 25 adults in Britain is taking antidepressants at any point in time
  • One in three marriages are likely to end in divorce
  • Everything will be better tomorrow
"Don't threaten me with love, Baby. Let's just go walking in the rain." -- Billie Holiday

I give up....

not much point, no one puts effort in, people just dilly dally. *sighs*

crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap

and there's still no one.


my sweat and chlorinated water combined seem to create some sorta of fish and chip smell which burns the back of my throat... this is a bad thing, kids don't do it.

luckily I managed to pull off that my shorts were inside out due to a fashion statement as opposed to my own incompentance.. even greater an achievement I did not in fact "pull off" my shorts in public.

Finally I have about as much energy as a pancake who went to the Oxford School of Energy Sapping Pancake machines, as a test subject. How terrible.

Chicken Chow Mein time I do believe... after a shower.

sup blud.

Man I'm not sure if I do anything but play San Andreas, my life is a walking gangsta.

Watched Van Wilder yesterday though, twas pretty funny.

Some dude got shot by police possibly in connection with bombings, or they may have been playing too much San Andreas....

ashes is going down hill already, damn

late homes

heeeeeeeeeeyy... nah its alrite cheers

Damn that harry potter book turned out awesome in the end, tis crazy wack sad though as well. Also damn San Andreas proper infiltrated my vocab with gangsta slang again. Damn you JK Rowling, I need the next book, before I explode like someone with a penguin blocking their fart hole.

Went swimming today, and gym before, cunningly Jade managed to ring me just as I was outta the pool. I was quite dripping. Man I should really try harder to get a job.

On further news, I'm pretty crap really arn't I. Ah well, onwards fellow soldiers.

remember to listen to more James Blunt and Five For Fighting

Song Of The Day (Videos pretty dope as well):

Oasis - The Importance of Being Idle

The BBQ in pictures and snide comments....

yeah.... I still like beer....

..."yes" complomdered Rachel "as do I, avec with my ear rings"...

..."uh?" ejaculated Tom, looking a bit sozzled "I got what on my ears?"...

..."h'okay, so" claimed Rex expertly "I shall now teach you the art of 0wning someone in three seperate steps:"....

..."1. The inital slap to the head, to show dominance"...

..."2. The eliquietly put "Pile Driver", enabled total deconstruction of victim"....

..."3. And so finally to complete submission, possibly using them as some sort of common lounge furniture."...

...on a similar note. This is Adam. At A Bar. A Midday. I rule. Nuff Said....

...and finally this is a single bite!!!!! on rachel....

San Andreas

I've just got hold of a copy of San Andreas...... well let me put it like this, say a normal good pc game is this:


San Andreas is:


and thats not just the size of the packaging.....

In conclusion its ridicoulously awesomely addictive, much good, though I've just finally become addicted to Harry Pothead and the Half-Ounced Pot... we shall see the conclusion of this tomorrow...

Random Quote:

yah I'm good, ooh yeah..... shit." - woot

Hey kids!

Its damn hard to keep my blog up-to-date when I have such a busy schedule.... nah I just lazy, anyway I'd thought I'd mention the awesome weekend we had at rexxors with about 54023 bbqs and drink and much quaffing.

Furthermore, I couldn't care less about this current sentance so I shall end it in an abrupt manner which you m.

on a further note, Shing Wai managed to totally destroy most things at the bbq including:

  • a glass - which was flung into the air via some poor scrappin with danu
  • a chair - which was destructonmanated via shing wai sitting on it
  • toilet light cord thing - which... was fuxxored by her.
With great regret I announce I got tracey hammered on a very small amount of alcohol and got wholey blamed for it. Then I also got blamed for simone attempting to gain access to my underwear. And finally blamed for nearly destroying simone's watch in an arm wrestle... which in fact was probably my fault!

I hate exclamation marks!

not so cunning...

Here's Tom's Step by Step Guide on how to ride your bike stupidly (Don't do this kids!):

1) Don't wear a helmet
2) Listen to Hundred Reasons loudly on ur mp3 player
3) Use the helmet u have in fact with you in your back pack as protection for your mp3 player if you fall off
4) Wear shorts and t-shirt
5) Wear sunnies
6) Nearly crash into some dude also doing nearly exactly the same thing (except he had an ipod... la de da) round a blind corner

ironically I was thinkin about the 5 steps and to post them on here just before the crashing nearly occured, and luckily my multi-tasking ability isn't fantastic so I'd slowed down. Thank god for conincidences.

hey, you, look at this!, no not you, yeah you, the one with the hair, woo

I've decided to fill my useless days with something worthwhile, so every day i'll put aside an hour to do some wikipediaing, which involves me randomly looking around wikipedia absorbing its knowledge about anything, and everything. Mainly random stuff.

I however discovered this probably makes me a pedo, a wikipedo that is, but ah well, you win some you bone some...

on a related note: "some of the misadventures Furrball got into include, getting a pair of malfunctioning 3-D glasses glued to his head"


In the past 2 days I've been hit with a slight degree of poeticness, though prolly not poetic justice, still here are my examples:

1) A Mystery Contributor: "what exactly does embracing life involve anyway?"
The Lesser Tufted Tom: "gettin up every morning and actually enjoy getting up because you look forward to all the amazing and fulfilling things your gonna do with ur day"

The Great (narf) Tom: "I wish i didn't have to sleep"
Mystery Contributor: "but what would you do with all your time??"
Still Tom: "anything, write a book, see the world, fall in love, watch the sunrise, or dance"

Okay not that poetic, damn I suck, worship me minions!!


its golly hot isn't it ole chap, pip pip and all that. Today at the gym I managed to sweat the pacific ocean into my england shirt... how excellent.

In more funny news I saw some toddler pelt out a shop, run across to a bin and somehow manage to fall in, much to the amusement of me, and less of an amusement to her parents. Narf.

If i had anything interesting to say I would have said it by now, so hopefully I'll post again and say something phenominal, you never know Far2Narf Productions may create something equally sensual....

"it's been suggested that you fuck a melon" - roflmao

awesome! just found an incredible site to show they can't scare us:

Click here! go woo yay: http://www.werenotafraid.com/

Here's my less than cunning effort:

oh and I apologise for using blue in the last post, scary innit.

same old same old

I still suck at waking up.
I'm still horrendously unfit.
I'm still very lazy
and I'm still tired continualy

oh and I can't spell.
In related news I finally managed to get my ass to the gym and then die a horrendous death. I also decided that due to stu saying "you are possibly the funniest guy i have ever met in the world" Far2Narf Productions will be diversifying into the Porn business. However I need to make a cunning splash screen for far2narf.co.uk to split up things. I nearly did it but then realised I was still horrendously lazy.

Apparently backflippin in front of a hedgehog audience is not advised.

Someone wanna find me a good website with cheap DC shoes on? G'wan.

Random Quote:

"everyone needs hedgeg............ okay now I'm runnin outta energy to talk shit" - me

well mainly today...

well of course, the entire of orpington high street has no jobs for a uni student. Damn racists.

"what's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute? A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again" - thanks to Ad for that one....

in other news, where's me washboard??

okay so mike complained that I didn't have enough porn video's, so here's Far2Narf Productions' first Porn film:

Gopher's Go Wild!! without Snoop Dogg! but with proper porn soundtrack!

and strangely enough I have only just got a bruise from stacking it in the club in Chavos.

Random Quote:

"my nakedness is no longer limited by the day of the week" - Dave being hasty in his damning of Naked Wednesdays

Yesense - Ep024

too hot

Had a good nite last nite, went to nandos in brommers and then to spoons, and shock horror I managed not to drink!

Here's a vid of dan and tracey fighting yesterday, its long!

and once more i got confused by Jade ringing me upon Dave's phone, though I'm sure dave called me a sexy boy, excellent.

Play footie today, nearly killed myself, can't believe how unfit I am so my to do list:

1) Get A Job
2) Unpack all my stuff
3) Learn Guitar
4) Get Uber Fit

awesome, well I somehow bummed a lift along with dan to egham, and we're chilled with tracey and rex in some sorta slight drinkage device, good fun. Some dude called Joe was quite annoying however, nrgh, too hot can't be assed to type stuff.

Oh and i regained my ability to talk shizer

another pint of your finest lager bar-keep

oh my god! this is blasphemy!:

FireFoxIE - nooo mike don't install it!
but here's something cool:
Peanut Butter Wiki - if you wanna make a ur own wiki for free
and awesome link:
random vin diesel "facts", v.funny:

Random Facts:

Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying

People photocopying their buttocks are the cause of 23% of all photocopier errors worldwide.

Ken Livingstone's Statement:

Just came across this, I think it sums everything up awesomely, with spirit and British Pride:


Today - jooop

Possibly the greatest socks ever!

Okay so I should have done loads of unpacking and tidying today, however it seem a lot more productive to laze around, listen to music, watch robot chicken and update my blog. To see all the "crazy" stuff i got up to on hol, scroll down a bit... go!... well not now but after this post.

Anyway just a quick view on what happened today, someone somewhere said "What the hell am I supposed to say? Will it even mean anything?". Well you don't have to say anything but what I'm saying is: if those closed minded fucks ever mess with Britain again they're gonna be fucked up so bad, they'll never know what hit them. No one attacks Britian, and especially innocent people, and especially on something "iconic" like a red bus or the london tube. One day justice will prevail, until then. shit.

Okay unfortunatly that made me sound like a thug, I'm not condoning anything like blowing up more countries because this happened or anything, I'm just hoping for once we can effectively find the culprits and finally allow justice and normal common sense to prevail.

On a lighter note... I found my old oil lighter....*gaffaws*

Random Quote:

"durkha durkha lets bomb london mohammed jihad abakala. COCKS" -

"shit" - Me

Holy Doggy Crap In A Bucket

Godamn what the hell, terrorists trying to fuck with london!? So far people think 4 explosions, 3 on tubes and 1 on a bus. At least 2 dead and at least 160 injured, all tube networks off.

UPDATE: 33 reported dead, though suspected at least 40

UPDATE: Confirmed by London ambulance services - 45 dead and over 1,000 injured. Amongst the injured are victims experiencing burns, loss of hearing, fractured limbs, facial lacerations, and loss of limbs. Several casualties are on the danger list.

Apparently that was an overzealous estimate, BBC estimates real numbers - 37 Dead and around 700 people injured.

Another Picture Attack

Me? Carlos Chop? The Intrepid Toxic Avenger? Here, at Exeter University? with a large group of Cheerleaders? what were they thinking....

...free tickets for alligators/crocodiles!!!...


....the state of my room before a bomb hit it... oh dear god....

Random Picture Attack!

Suspicions of the magical double jd and coke's origins were wide spread, but the general concensus was that Tom was taking pictures of everything....

...meanwhile across the wilderness of Hog Shed, it was noticeable that dave had watched "the ring" video, much to mike's bemusement....

...with a sly look in her eyes Zoe plotted her next move...

...looks like it was time to partehhh!!....

...but tom was having none of this "using noun's as verbs" malarky.

Holiday Events

Right well its taken be long enough to do this so I'm gonna just list as much as i can remember (narf) from the holiday in bullet points, and cool things that happened:

  • Getting Drunk every single nite, and spending at least 30 euros (normally 50) on alcohol a night
  • Headfuckers - a drink consisting of 3 quarters shots (including 2 shots absythe) and rest juice, totally destructive
  • Fire Bar - conning us, though first givin us free drinks for answer that london has 14 million people... then everytime for rest of week physically dragging us in there!..btw pop is 7 million
  • Getting so drunk one nite with andy that on way back to hotel we climbed over gate and jumped into the pool avec clothes and all (not allowed to do after 7), and proceeding to be chased my hotel peeps. One stopping me and asking where I live, and using all my powers of cunning tried to think of a number furthest from 513: "er 5.......1.......2"
  • skinny dipping
  • dan having some couple shag right in front of him on beach
  • Clubs and Bars: Empire: cheap good fun, 42nd Street: also good price and wet t-shirt comp, Future: Good club, Venue: can't remember :P, Rockys: Good atmosphere if not a bit expensive, Rolling Stone: Awesome music and atmosphere and not bad prices, London Bar: not bad bit quiet, Fountain Bar: well chilled and cool.
  • Trev, Andy and Colin going on a reverse bungy rope thing, and trev looking like a rag doll, much excellent.
  • boat trip to greek mainland beach, with bbq and blue lagoon, great fun, swimming in warm water, trying to catch fish, divin off boat.
  • Reps are shit
  • Comedy night, quite funny scouse dude who just insulted everyone. Got bit tiresome when his jokes all started to just be "fuck off", free bar though and hardcore porn on coach on way back?!
  • Being so drunk in rolling stone that I managed to talk a guy into givin me a bottle of champagne, realising i don't like it, giving it to dan who promptly downed it and then just smashed it on floor.
  • Same night falling over about 4 times, once into some girls who were pissed off and once into trev knocking him over and me just saying "its wet there".
  • On one hammered night back shouting at everyone greek dog along the lines of: "You fucking greek dog, I kick you!"
  • Walking from strip with loads of drinks in our hands and just throwing the glasses when empty!
  • One night walking away from bar we were all with dan, and blitz the strip in like 15 min, and end up with 7 sex on the beaches for 7 euros and a well strong HeadFucker and 2 shots for 3.50 euros. Returning to bar drunk.
  • Cory losing her camera on beach :( (well stolen)
  • Hiring out a dune buggy one day with andy. Totally awesome, we drove all around the island, drove up a hill in some random village where we couldn't understand any of them, but managed to get some ice creams. Saw some kids play a dumb game of hide and seek that involved hiding, but then just jumping into view. We then went up to top of mountain to some cemetery that was built better than the houses, except it looked like zombies had tried to escape so they padlocked it shut. We then returned power sliding and such. only 6 euros for a full tank! bought a water pistol and drivebyed a dog with russ on back up some mountain pass, which andy proceeds to power slide round and nearly killing russ.
  • Next day me and andy hired a quad bike each and ad and cory got a dune buggy. Much fun with that, saw some girl that drove into a ditch and some dude that came off round a corner and took out chunks of his face, less good. We went all around the small mountain near us up dirt tracks and the such and rex decided to nearly destroy me by crashing the dune buggy into a forest. Andy also hit into the back of my quad with his when we were both lookin backwards, bending my reg plate. woopa
  • 50% of all the buildings in corfu are half finished?!
  • lots of dumping of random crap for some reason
  • donkehs. billy goats. lizards.
  • Awesome food at desparados, huge racks of ribs, steaks, chicken wings and the such like.
  • Nice food at Chindian and Steakhouse as well
  • Crappy pool table at oula (hotel) with holes that SUCKED the balls into them. easy though.
  • Heart starting to treble in speed when ever eating, not good.
  • Our apartment (me, ad, col, ruff, andy) being 2.5 times smaller than the other peeps apartment. Bit crap but cosy I guess :P
  • Throwing up one time in our since, some sorta bamboo sick, and from then on everytime the sink was used, it would reappear up from the plug hole. scary.
  • Andy coming back drunk one night hammered, going in the bathroom, and then vomit slowly creeping from under the door, and he ending up sleeping in the shower the whole night
  • I purr when I sleep....
  • Ruffle so drunk one night he started headbutting a bottle continually by diving through air onto it?!, then started throwing up, which made colin hide like a wuss, and I was left to chuck it outta window every few min when bowl was getting full!. In morning ruff still totally hammered, and turns out 1) some dude punched ("jibbed") him 2) may have been cos ruff called him a "northern bastard" 3) russ ending in ditch 4) some dudes carrying him home.
  • Dan coming back to find his bed filled with some random guy, who wouldn't get out the bed, and said that dominque was with him. Dan then thought cory had called herself dominque, got pissed off, when to our gaff (I was there but passed out just as he knocked) shouting obscenities and being pissed off and him and ruff about to "fuck shit up". Then rex calling and saying it was the dude from next door and somehow he got confused, came in their apartment and managed to go up stairs without simone or cory knowing
  • Simone getting so drunk that while we were dancing outside in the street on the strip she started falling over continually, quite funny, but in the morning not so much for her!
  • Me only getting one hang over the entire holiday somehow! that was due to amstel beer - though tbh local beer there was excellent.
  • Wet T-shirt at empire bar quite excellent, Simone seemed quite interested, ruff was passing out in a chair and ad was being pulled away by cory. But I was there and so was rex, booshankarama and even ice was involved.
  • Damn PRs everywhere! when drunk they were fun, but when u just trying to get somewhere or a bite to eat each bar attacks u and tries to make u go in there with a combination of boobs, drink offers, blaggin and chavs.
  • Rocky managed to woo some sorta bar maid at Rockys by givin her the rose that I fecking bought, but anyway, cunning, though he forgot to really go back to see her :P
  • Checking my results and getting a first, wooo
  • Russ trying to buying some bands from street sellers only for them to pickpocket him, but somehow in his drunkardness he saw it and started having a go at her, which made her "cry" eventually got money back, think I may have shouted at her as well. Then she still tried to sell him stuff. Greek dude call Yaness or sommit came over and was like "hallo my friend!, why u not slap her down! why u not stab her! kill her". and then via varying drunkardness ruff and him had a circular conversation about not stabbing her for like ever.
  • The tavana just round the corner from the oula, great food, but had karoke, and the dude managed to make rex and trev sing angels about 3 or 4 times. Then varying other songs that most they didn't know. eventually after a lot of nice local beer we exited with some dignity (luckily I didn't sing).
  • Most of the holiday my back turned toxic from sunstroke in exmouth. yellow pussing. Had a skin draw filled with my peeling skin. Excellent. Couldn't take off top to swim.
  • Weird corfu rules in toilets where u put toilet roll in bin after use and not in toilet
  • Loads of naked boobies at pool!! wooo!
  • Crappy waiting for flights, so tired, blargh.
  • Gave ourselves loads of meat related names for the Pork Squad:
    • Me: Carlos Chop - The Intrepid Toxic Avenger
    • Rex: Horatio Tenderloin
    • Colin: Kevlar Rind
    • Adam: Rump o'Steak the Irish Deputy
    • and can't remember any others, whoops
Official Holiday Drinks: Headfuckers and Sex On The Beach
Official Holiday Words: Pootang and Booshank
Official Holiday Phrases: "Hallo my friend, I kick your dog", "Lets Fuck Shit Up"

can't remember anything else for now, tell me anything I forgotten!

The Holiday - In the very few pictures that i took

"Hell yeah" we all cried, a perfect start to the holiday - in Gatwick Spoons...

...They sell vodka Norsk in shops!.. ok yes i have a lack of photos...

..."oh lord" pondered rex "there seems to be more boobies than at mardi gras"...

..."Hallo my friend, I am Carlos Chop, ze Intrepid Toxic Avenger... I kick your dog"..

...and so the toxic part - which was actually highly improved...

..our kitchen which was never used...

..the sensual view from our window, though less sensual than the boob-infested pool view the other flat had...

...a plastic spiral staircase, my favourite mode of vertical ascent...

...I like corfu...

...constructing, the corfuian way...

..."we 'steak' our reputation on it" *gaffaws*... yes well, one of the various "steak outs" for the Pork Squad...

..."wahey" inquired Andy "ice cream o'clock!"..

...The buggy of wonder, the buggy of light, and all who like to get drunk at night...

...this is corfu...

...hopefully this might be as well...

...cunningly corfuians seem to build graves better than buildings...

...not corfu.....nah i'm kidding (sic) it is...what does sic mean?...

...Tom's "How to Look A Pillock" 101 - copy the guy with sunglasses on...

...view from a mountain, look I can see America!...

...and that over there is New Zealand...

...what a dune buggy should really be used for...

...except now i'm as blind as a turnip...

General Ramblings and Observations by Tom of Earth: a cryptic emotionally-driven look into the life of times of the infamous sock wearer, gadget-whore, unintentional blasphemer, hypocrite, servant of Xenu, Pastafarian, absurdist and thantophobic...without me, its just aweso

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