Holiday Events

Right well its taken be long enough to do this so I'm gonna just list as much as i can remember (narf) from the holiday in bullet points, and cool things that happened:

  • Getting Drunk every single nite, and spending at least 30 euros (normally 50) on alcohol a night
  • Headfuckers - a drink consisting of 3 quarters shots (including 2 shots absythe) and rest juice, totally destructive
  • Fire Bar - conning us, though first givin us free drinks for answer that london has 14 million people... then everytime for rest of week physically dragging us in there!..btw pop is 7 million
  • Getting so drunk one nite with andy that on way back to hotel we climbed over gate and jumped into the pool avec clothes and all (not allowed to do after 7), and proceeding to be chased my hotel peeps. One stopping me and asking where I live, and using all my powers of cunning tried to think of a number furthest from 513: "er 5.......1.......2"
  • skinny dipping
  • dan having some couple shag right in front of him on beach
  • Clubs and Bars: Empire: cheap good fun, 42nd Street: also good price and wet t-shirt comp, Future: Good club, Venue: can't remember :P, Rockys: Good atmosphere if not a bit expensive, Rolling Stone: Awesome music and atmosphere and not bad prices, London Bar: not bad bit quiet, Fountain Bar: well chilled and cool.
  • Trev, Andy and Colin going on a reverse bungy rope thing, and trev looking like a rag doll, much excellent.
  • boat trip to greek mainland beach, with bbq and blue lagoon, great fun, swimming in warm water, trying to catch fish, divin off boat.
  • Reps are shit
  • Comedy night, quite funny scouse dude who just insulted everyone. Got bit tiresome when his jokes all started to just be "fuck off", free bar though and hardcore porn on coach on way back?!
  • Being so drunk in rolling stone that I managed to talk a guy into givin me a bottle of champagne, realising i don't like it, giving it to dan who promptly downed it and then just smashed it on floor.
  • Same night falling over about 4 times, once into some girls who were pissed off and once into trev knocking him over and me just saying "its wet there".
  • On one hammered night back shouting at everyone greek dog along the lines of: "You fucking greek dog, I kick you!"
  • Walking from strip with loads of drinks in our hands and just throwing the glasses when empty!
  • One night walking away from bar we were all with dan, and blitz the strip in like 15 min, and end up with 7 sex on the beaches for 7 euros and a well strong HeadFucker and 2 shots for 3.50 euros. Returning to bar drunk.
  • Cory losing her camera on beach :( (well stolen)
  • Hiring out a dune buggy one day with andy. Totally awesome, we drove all around the island, drove up a hill in some random village where we couldn't understand any of them, but managed to get some ice creams. Saw some kids play a dumb game of hide and seek that involved hiding, but then just jumping into view. We then went up to top of mountain to some cemetery that was built better than the houses, except it looked like zombies had tried to escape so they padlocked it shut. We then returned power sliding and such. only 6 euros for a full tank! bought a water pistol and drivebyed a dog with russ on back up some mountain pass, which andy proceeds to power slide round and nearly killing russ.
  • Next day me and andy hired a quad bike each and ad and cory got a dune buggy. Much fun with that, saw some girl that drove into a ditch and some dude that came off round a corner and took out chunks of his face, less good. We went all around the small mountain near us up dirt tracks and the such and rex decided to nearly destroy me by crashing the dune buggy into a forest. Andy also hit into the back of my quad with his when we were both lookin backwards, bending my reg plate. woopa
  • 50% of all the buildings in corfu are half finished?!
  • lots of dumping of random crap for some reason
  • donkehs. billy goats. lizards.
  • Awesome food at desparados, huge racks of ribs, steaks, chicken wings and the such like.
  • Nice food at Chindian and Steakhouse as well
  • Crappy pool table at oula (hotel) with holes that SUCKED the balls into them. easy though.
  • Heart starting to treble in speed when ever eating, not good.
  • Our apartment (me, ad, col, ruff, andy) being 2.5 times smaller than the other peeps apartment. Bit crap but cosy I guess :P
  • Throwing up one time in our since, some sorta bamboo sick, and from then on everytime the sink was used, it would reappear up from the plug hole. scary.
  • Andy coming back drunk one night hammered, going in the bathroom, and then vomit slowly creeping from under the door, and he ending up sleeping in the shower the whole night
  • I purr when I sleep....
  • Ruffle so drunk one night he started headbutting a bottle continually by diving through air onto it?!, then started throwing up, which made colin hide like a wuss, and I was left to chuck it outta window every few min when bowl was getting full!. In morning ruff still totally hammered, and turns out 1) some dude punched ("jibbed") him 2) may have been cos ruff called him a "northern bastard" 3) russ ending in ditch 4) some dudes carrying him home.
  • Dan coming back to find his bed filled with some random guy, who wouldn't get out the bed, and said that dominque was with him. Dan then thought cory had called herself dominque, got pissed off, when to our gaff (I was there but passed out just as he knocked) shouting obscenities and being pissed off and him and ruff about to "fuck shit up". Then rex calling and saying it was the dude from next door and somehow he got confused, came in their apartment and managed to go up stairs without simone or cory knowing
  • Simone getting so drunk that while we were dancing outside in the street on the strip she started falling over continually, quite funny, but in the morning not so much for her!
  • Me only getting one hang over the entire holiday somehow! that was due to amstel beer - though tbh local beer there was excellent.
  • Wet T-shirt at empire bar quite excellent, Simone seemed quite interested, ruff was passing out in a chair and ad was being pulled away by cory. But I was there and so was rex, booshankarama and even ice was involved.
  • Damn PRs everywhere! when drunk they were fun, but when u just trying to get somewhere or a bite to eat each bar attacks u and tries to make u go in there with a combination of boobs, drink offers, blaggin and chavs.
  • Rocky managed to woo some sorta bar maid at Rockys by givin her the rose that I fecking bought, but anyway, cunning, though he forgot to really go back to see her :P
  • Checking my results and getting a first, wooo
  • Russ trying to buying some bands from street sellers only for them to pickpocket him, but somehow in his drunkardness he saw it and started having a go at her, which made her "cry" eventually got money back, think I may have shouted at her as well. Then she still tried to sell him stuff. Greek dude call Yaness or sommit came over and was like "hallo my friend!, why u not slap her down! why u not stab her! kill her". and then via varying drunkardness ruff and him had a circular conversation about not stabbing her for like ever.
  • The tavana just round the corner from the oula, great food, but had karoke, and the dude managed to make rex and trev sing angels about 3 or 4 times. Then varying other songs that most they didn't know. eventually after a lot of nice local beer we exited with some dignity (luckily I didn't sing).
  • Most of the holiday my back turned toxic from sunstroke in exmouth. yellow pussing. Had a skin draw filled with my peeling skin. Excellent. Couldn't take off top to swim.
  • Weird corfu rules in toilets where u put toilet roll in bin after use and not in toilet
  • Loads of naked boobies at pool!! wooo!
  • Crappy waiting for flights, so tired, blargh.
  • Gave ourselves loads of meat related names for the Pork Squad:
    • Me: Carlos Chop - The Intrepid Toxic Avenger
    • Rex: Horatio Tenderloin
    • Colin: Kevlar Rind
    • Adam: Rump o'Steak the Irish Deputy
    • and can't remember any others, whoops
Official Holiday Drinks: Headfuckers and Sex On The Beach
Official Holiday Words: Pootang and Booshank
Official Holiday Phrases: "Hallo my friend, I kick your dog", "Lets Fuck Shit Up"

can't remember anything else for now, tell me anything I forgotten!


Michael 9:02 pm  

U seem to have learnt some highly cunning tatics that we shall use in Exeterland. I will alert da troops.

Tommeh 9:07 pm  

well said corporal Darrrr, grab the 2 bottles of vodka, a dune buggy, five boobs and a greek dog named Hulie.

General Ramblings and Observations by Tom of Earth: a cryptic emotionally-driven look into the life of times of the infamous sock wearer, gadget-whore, unintentional blasphemer, hypocrite, servant of Xenu, Pastafarian, absurdist and thantophobic...without me, its just aweso

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