we'll blow off our heads in despair

I actually felt old today, as I pondered devoting my life to one endeavour and realised 23 isn't 21 anymore. I'm not normally one to worry about birthdays, or that I'm getting older, as I've only lived a quarter of my life and it felt like a real long time (not in a bad way i should point out). However, for nearly 20 years of that I had little choice in what I did or my future. Now in the land of careers, travelling, responsibility and all other manner of things, I'm not sure I can fit it all in. Have I still got time to be a rock star or famous sportsman?

What if I wanna do a phd?
or live in Oz for a year?
or travel to India? or down Africa?
or learn Spanish and do South America?

I'm finding it difficult to break out of the mind set that once I start my career I can't stop in case it looks bad, or I can't re-find a job, or I won't progress far enough or earn enough money.

Argh.

And yes I know, I should "just do what i want" but what if I don't know what I want? You could harp on all day in cliché motivational phrases until the cows come home, trample your new Persian rug and demand their supper but it won't change the face that following that advice yourself is far more complex and risky than in some magic fairy ideal.

Also what if I find someone (not fail to tell them for the umpteenth time?)....

LOLLERSKATES!!!1!!1!!one!!!! only joking!

*sighs*