we'll blow off our heads in despair

I actually felt old today, as I pondered devoting my life to one endeavour and realised 23 isn't 21 anymore. I'm not normally one to worry about birthdays, or that I'm getting older, as I've only lived a quarter of my life and it felt like a real long time (not in a bad way i should point out). However, for nearly 20 years of that I had little choice in what I did or my future. Now in the land of careers, travelling, responsibility and all other manner of things, I'm not sure I can fit it all in. Have I still got time to be a rock star or famous sportsman?

What if I wanna do a phd?
or live in Oz for a year?
or travel to India? or down Africa?
or learn Spanish and do South America?

I'm finding it difficult to break out of the mind set that once I start my career I can't stop in case it looks bad, or I can't re-find a job, or I won't progress far enough or earn enough money.

Argh.

And yes I know, I should "just do what i want" but what if I don't know what I want? You could harp on all day in cliché motivational phrases until the cows come home, trample your new Persian rug and demand their supper but it won't change the face that following that advice yourself is far more complex and risky than in some magic fairy ideal.

Also what if I find someone (not fail to tell them for the umpteenth time?)....

LOLLERSKATES!!!1!!1!!one!!!! only joking!

*sighs*

I will possess your heart...

Extreme journal writing on the back of a Chinese bus! Hardcore y'all!

Which you won't appreicate as this was typed at a later date, so instead, here is an ode to July:

Hush now my sweet
although I've lost my feet
under horrific circumstances
from July's empty romances.

do I divide and fall apart?

Waking up in the morning, I received a text from that loveable rogue, Rex, who informed me that I return to the wistful shores of England in 4 weeks. Now I do already know this, but it filled me with a feeling of dead and realisation that I will have to actually stop travelling. Then I was overcome by the same feeling I used to get when I had to go back to school on a cold, damp, grey, english winter's day.

I think I've decided my best plan of action for Japan is to plan my entire stay meticiously, so I make full use of my limited time there. Therefore, I am in need of a Japanese LP, yeah you know me, swigging DC like in 73.

And your face is stupid.

I also had a dream about some girl I met on a train, and we had some sort of whirlwind romance or connection for those few minutes on the train, but then my stop came up and we had a to part company. I woke up feeling quite forlorn and emo.

Sleep comes with a knife, fork and a spoon...

Time for a tech attack in your raptor powered rack. My new Chinese phone, made by unknown manufacturer 'K-Touch' is surprisingly good. The D770, at 80 quid, although feeling cheap, has a 3 mega-pixel camera, large touch sceren, built in telescopic stylus, keypad, motion sensor AND can run 2 sim cards simultanously with no switching required. Great for the gadget whoring backpacker. So I have an English sim and a Chiense sim plugged in there. Comes with 2 batteries, an external battery charger (as well as internal) and an AV cable. Also takes MicroSD cards. AS long as you get someone to swap to English menus it's fine, though the sms dictionary is a bit limited and some error messages are still in chinese. Sim selection is easy and can be done when sending messages and calling. A grand phone and I don't care much about it.

UPDATE: The charger plug is totally mashed and I need a new one. Bum clouds.

Humour

CowboyDan: shit my battery er að renna út
Me: rofl, does english need more electricity?

Well I laughed. Fuck you guys.

erm.

What if I don't come back. What if I don't settle to my cliched computing job in London. what if I find a job where I can travel the world. What if I lose my fear of losing my friends. What if I sing. What if I'm happy with medicore money.

What if I'm alone?

Fun things to do 5x10^37

Write emo captions on lonely planet photos and leave it in a hostel.

Soon we'll be living in the future.

I rock the mic like a hurricane!
because I rock the mic like a hurricane!
because I rock the mic, Hurricane Fresh!

Apparently, as fresh as a milkman on duty, according to some sources. Not only have I betrayed your trust with this blog but I think I've hyperextended my elbow with my backpack, whatever that means and some wack ass excuse for an airport net terminal cranched up my hand. Did I make up the word jank, because no one else I've met while travelling knows it? Pretty janked up if you ask me.

Apart from my general worry about my chinese visa, my main thoughts are revolving around how it sucks to say goodbye and how I'm going to have to do so much at home to keep things interesting. No more shying away from things. Dan if you're a lunatic and reading this, bust me a list of muserific delicaces being served up in brighton from mid-august onwards!

Other related foibels: I'm very behind on my journal and even worse on my blog. My money is quite an issue, I have no clean clothes, I loved vietnam, I need to take more full body photos (not sexy ones you fiesty kittens - well maybe for 10 quid in an envelope slipped in my rear door if you know what I mean, nudge nudge wink wink haddock), my camera is a bit borked again, a flight to Japan from Beijing is 450 sterling and that was totally a lady boy staring at my doojangles!

In further news: Brand New has taken over my life again. My hair is mega long. I got attacked by elbow mossies. I actually remembered to take my doxy poxy cyclone for 3 days in a row. The dude to my right has psycho eyes. I nearly massacred an entire airport today. Air Asia's Xpress boarding is very sexy. I need a China LP. Jesus and Zeus are currently in a nail biting battle on centre court. My new journal is fabric based. I hope my name is Mr Ooh Tik Aw Pahs Heha, as I'd need to go to some incomprehensible location within the confines of Bangkok airport. The world tilts back and pours and pours and so... Diagonal non-escalator walkways are great. I'll never have to buy adjacent plots of land. We'll never have to rot together underneath dust. I'll never have to lose my baby in the crowd. I should be laughing right now....

An Ode To Vomit:

Cellophane noodles in my mouth,
Slither down my throat to the south,
but I realise too late, and with remorse,
that my food doth follow a reciprocal course.

Raffle's B-day Rampage

Once more with many skills sublime,
you've written a rhyme better than mine.
After 3 days of pondering in lands afar,
Rex said "Just do it" so here I are.
On to the matter of this event every year,
that's filled with sensual joy and birth related cheer.
May you have fun and much joyous applause,
on the one day I hear you can break many laws.
So I'll end this with distant hugging and clutching,
and a kilo of love and inappropriate touching.

A splattering of thoughts

• Girls are far better at 1) remembering to take photos 2) posing for photos AND they are useful in the sense that you can take photos for no reason but can blame it on them. Classic
• Why is it that mossies will attack you, non stop, for about 20 minutes, then suddenly give up on you? Have I run outta blood? Where's the commitment? Where's the love?
• Why have I signed myself up to a night of reading dive manuals when the level of humidity is like that time Zeus hot-boxed his outhouse by boiling up all his succubis?
• Why do no websites have the powerful search tools I required to properly use them?
• I think I've lost of my lyrical prowess, what small amount I had to begin with.
• My hair is out of control and the number one culprit in my water loss problems.
• Get funky on the dance floor and show be a better bop than the bop I got...
• "Don't bangkok too hard" - Dan Dan Icelandic Dan
  

Do you remember that time,

when I was like .... and you were like.... and after an small interuption we had kippers, and then Sid Vicious was like "Put that spoon down, I've had enough". To which we replied, between smirks and jovial glances, "Oh Sid, your ecentric ways are so devoid of the post-hardcore mind set that we all expect, pass the scones". Though unbeknownst to us, the scones had run out part way through the last century, and a flurry of resulting conflict confirmed this, leaving much of the devastation we see before us right now. No matter, we carried on our merry way, dropping coins to the paupers and conducting informed debates with passing monks on the very crux of the buddhist way of life, in relation to globalisation and the current decline in economic tides. No sooner had we achieved, what in our own subjective mindset appeared to be, enlightenment, than we became hidiously paranoid in terms of the whole juxtaposition of the situation, and lightly refused dessert.

Luckily times have changed, but I still look back with an odd envy at the naive boy I used to be.

What do you do when your mum texts you saying "Wish I could see a sea horse" in a despondent manner, well as despondent as you can be via the medium of textual communications. I dunno what you do, but what I do is write a blog entry to detach myself from the situation, allowing a more rational outlook. And then I decide I want steak for dinner. Good O.

I think I had something witty and pulsating to say, which would be expected as I just had some coffee, but my typie fingers are devoid of any literary splurges, so I must bid you a Jew or two.

Drunken Shinanigans

Well I'm diasterously behind on my blog, but I thought I'd relay an interesting night Joff and I participated in last night, once more involving alcohol. And unlike in Byron Bay it did not conclude with us drawing giant knobs on the beach.

The night started like any other, wasting more money eating out in a nice local restaurant, a chinese this time, v.yummy. We then cruised in a pub across the road, which was pretty empty, and Joff played $5 on the pokies there, which lasted a good length of time. Our hunt for live music then began but for some reason we just settled for a bar with seats outside. We had one, then moved on to an awesome bar which was playing linkin park, papa roach, etc though we were the only peeps in there and it shut at 10. After swift drinking and rockin out, we found yet another bar that had live music, but they stopped playing nearly as soon as we entered the premises! The general consensus was a more long term hunt for live music, which only resulted in nearly paying $50 to go in some club/gig place. Luckily, after talking to a bouncer we found a club to go to.

A gay club.

Great fun though! and we partied to the wee hours, including getting Joff his first shot ever! Sambuca in the face. We took some humourous photos with some guys and girls, before leaving due to excessive alcohol consumption. It seemed cunning to then go to Maccy D's and get some form of food. After which we agreed we were too drunk to go back to hostel and should walk around a bit, which we did until we got to the river side. I promptly lay down, messiah stylie, and fell asleep for 2 minutes, and once Joff woke me up I had apparently lost the last hour of memory instantly. So much so that I decided I wanted Maccy D's not realising we'd already been. Needless to say I got 20 chicken nuggets and all was well.

Grand.

I'm not actually dead, and neither is this blog

"Please don't forget about me" aroused my blog "I'll always exist in the hearts of your readers and the twinkling in the eye of the child who playfully uses a racist remark as a form of witty retort"

"Pah" I ejaculated furiously "our readers care not for us anymore, with a lack of updates and a stagnent smell in the air, all is lost"

"You lie" my blog grinded

"True."

And then I regained conciousness from smashing my skull upon the ocean's bed.

Wasting words on lower cases and capitals

I miss blogging on this blog. I miss not being 20 light years behind on my other blog. I'm sure I used to have a greater grip on the English language, and I could mold it to my very will. Though maybe not. This post has little purpose except to remind you I exist. I'm going for chinese. I expect to drink my weight in Chinese Tea. And Brand New is still and will always be the greatest band in the world. Yes sir.

In related news, Rex and I have decided to start an indie alt-rock post-hardcore band. When I get back. We'll woo the girls with our deep lyrics, hard hitting palm-muted power chords, floppy hair, and general emotonic undertones.

Raffle can supply the musical talent we might need by our 3rd album. Good show.

In related news, I'm collecting various graffeti I've seen under beds and in toilets, current winner is:

The red red robin,
goes bob bob bobbing along,
Shoot the Bastard,
Shoot the Bastard,
Shoot Shoot Shoot the Bastard.

Neutral Milk Hotel

Note to Self: Remember that band, and their album "In the Aeroplane Over The Sea". Good boy.

I can safely say this trip is the best thing I've decided to do ever. I think in just the 1.5 weeks I've been away, so far I've grown more confident in myself and had a great time just meeting people. though as always with me, I always falter if I want anything more than el friendshipio. Curse my stupid hair and leaving everything important too late, no matter how many chances I might get. Anyway, I have no time for such emo tom-foolery

I'm not Australien!

Why do I always get embarrassed and ashamed when people ask what degrees I did and what grades I got? I fear people then see past my cool, suave exterior and think I'm a geek. It's as if I was recompiling my kernal or something... Also, some people of the British persuasion think I'm well spoken! Obviously I don't speak like a chav and I sometimes use crazy words, but my enunciation is shizer!.

While I am on a little rant, I'd like to point out that people really should consider other mp3 players rather than just default choosing ipods! I can understand shuffles and nanos because they are most excellent, but everyone turns their nose up at my zen, even though every feature (apart from its street cred) is better than an ipod! Death to all.

My forearms rock your world.

Strange phondoola

Dammit, all white people look the same, I'm having trouble remembering who I know and who I don't. I cam across the idea of using far2narf as a "behind the scenes" look at my trip. Luckily, I remembered that this humble blog has little to no purpose, and discard the idea. You may remember a cool guy who looked like Will Smith, well he was actually quite a ladies man + perv. Talking about getting the ladies to play pool and bend over etc. Damn that prince is fresh. Apparently, the women drink the light Fiji Gold beer, as otherwise they get "too fat". I promptly decided not to bring up that I drank the light beer... same alcohol though.