so last night I said

"Hey guy, stop hacking up my soul with your pre-packaged peer pressure, I'm not gonna go out, or spend money or drink alcohol."

oh how wrong I was, hilarity was high as well, not only with me completely missing stu who was sitting right in front of me, but I also succeeded in calling him a splat of wank. Started in the Ram, with Alex, Chris, Hardcore dave and random fools from dave's old flat, and stu, kath and nick were there as well and I was like yo.

Soon me and Alex passed and moved to the lemmy where Katie and Claire avec housemates were there, Katie was slightly the drunk which was highly amusing. Not only this but my housemate Nat was there as well but even tho we've talked quite a few times she only recognised me cos of my luridly yellow jacket, so I sorted her out. In a respectable manner without even resorting to knee cap removal.

I forgot to mention I have the net back in my room and I have been investigated watching new eps of series without downloading them, like on youtube and blip.tv and dailymotion and whatever other l337 ways I can find. Stu and I went to a lecture today which was so pointless we again spent the entire lecture communicating via the medium of pen.

Random Quote

"I dreamt of Cox" - Me, followed by Stu head butting the wall in anguish.

you know sucks

not even having enough change in your pockets and room combined to be able to wash some clothes.

so the new episode of south park

Is totally awesome and you can watch it in full here, you lucky lucky kids.

** Spoiler **

"When Hitler rose to power there were a lot of people who just stopped playing, you know who those people were? The French. Are you French?"

paranoia in the discothek...

man I love book shops, if I was the richer I'd go and buy like everything. There's even a book about blogging in our uni shop. Which is pretty stupid cos they only have 10 comp sci books and one of them is something airy fairy like that. No matter, I am the Blogging master. I pwnz teh iNternetz.

free coffee in comp sci building today, due to the shop opening late or something. cappachino tastes a bit too creamy for my liking, how can they not do Tom's patented coffee as black as the gates of hell?

Task for today: call stu a wanksplat for the hell of it.

I have a lecture AND a meeting today, man my days are so packed I'm close to being squishmoshed.

Havn't you heard that I'm the new cancer, I've never looked better and you can't stand it...

sup bluds

I hear the library computer room is the place to be when you're there and you're square. And you're still banned from the net like some crazy dutch bastard.

I got up at 1pm today. I mean wtf? thats not the way to go. Need to get into a routine and read some books, once the damn Stu orders them *shakes fist*.

Orp fools: are we still goin to amsterdamn in easter, if so I need to put some cash aside and not buy anything for a while. Like food. take that DJ gravy monster samuel.

Went ram, alex's and blackie on friday nite with nick, chloe and alex. and on saturday night went rileys then firehouse with Sam, where i wasn't meant to be drinking but ended up having 4 pints. Tho two of them were a quid so I can be let off. Awesomely tho, Jamie (sam's boyfriend) knows I often order guiness in the firehouse, so I can now swagger in there and go "yo dude, the usual" and I'll be cooler than the fonz on a surfboard.

for your pleasure, the Student Guild's (like a student union but apparently different) introduction video:

*?#* you pig!

oki so it just took me a minute to find the # key on the keyboard, man I shouldn't be doing a comp sci masters.

Today's connundrums are, if Tony Jaa launched a flying knee butt at you (thats not a type of fish) how would u defend yourself if you had no weapons?

Also do people who are claustraphobic have to avoid showers and toilet cubicles, as I'm sure that could be a tad awkward when you need a poop.

I'll tell you something else that has a hat level of 7, on the walk to campus I was crossing the road and some dude in a car stopped me right in the middle of the god damn road to ask directions to the prison. Surely not the safest place for a tom.

Update on my net status, turns out I got banned cos they thought I had a virus, probably cos I tunnelled a load of traff... blah blah tech speak blah blah shoe horn blah albatross blah blah right in the blah blah sticky but blah blah damn tasty.

Dj Yoda's new album is dope, check it you crazy fools.

what people say about my blog:

"i like your blog it's largely irrelavent gobalgygook" - Danu

"I like your blog, it makes me happy, like a big internet cyber hug of tomness" - Sam

"I commend your blogging Thomas" - Stu

"Your blog? Well it's humoristique, quelquefois assez 'geeky'...I don't know, just natural, funny, slightly eccentric...humour and sarcasm and info and emotastic doodles" - Raffle

more later...

you know what else is annoying

Missing Terry Pratchett's signing sesh at smiths and not being able to damn well think of something to code.

mccoys stab all other crisps in the face and leave them to die in the gutter

no reason, they're just crazy and awesome. On a related note, can wolverine be drowned?

In a crazy attempt at a cunning stunt bonus I got a load of books from the library last night at like 8pm. I may have said on the last two blogs but I can't remember.

I'm now gonna read to chapter 3 of my neural networks book. Take that Tom cruise!

I agree

I do need a digital camcorder, but apart from scamming someone in lanzarote I got no where near the cash to afford such a thing.

I'm sure u don't care but I thought I'd tell you in case I capture some hot and rich girl's heart, and then I can hold it for ransom, for the princely sum of 1 camcorder. and a frickin' quiet space bar.

Soft toy sex is NOT funny. Its sick, perverted, disgusting and hilarious. Bonus points.

yeah true I'm just typing for the hell of it, but you'd miss it if my keyboard was melted down in polyoxihatasaurous oxide. wouldn't you. yes. next:

Song of the week: The Get Up Kids - Campfire Kids.

Reasons I'm annoyed:

1. My Ds Lite has a crack in the hinge, stupid nintendo with faulty DS's still being sold in the shops
2. I seem to be banned from the internet in my room for downloading legal torrents on bittorrent. You may not believe me that there are in fact legal torrents. Check out legaltorrents.com and many a linux distro. *le sigh* I even scheduled no downloading 9-5 during day AND limited it to 50kb/s anyway.
3. Firefox doesn't work on any blasted computer on uni at the moment for some reason
4. All the computers in the masters computer room seem b0rked
5. To be able to log into my blog I had to download a portable version of Opera cos cookies are h4xxored.
6. Grrr
7. The toilet cubicles in the library toilets can be unlocked from the outside?!
8. My throat has a tickle in it. Not jon tickle I add.
9. Yams!!!!
10. All the Neural Network books by Bishop have been taken out of the library.
11. I have like no money
12. I'm uber tired cos I couldn't sleep and kept dreaming about telling people about my dreams from previous night. I fear the problem could be exponential
13. The space bar on this keyboard is way too loud and probably annoying everyone in the library
14. I keep running outta time in the day to do anything
15. I can't think of any more reasons.

Reasons I'm happy:

1. I love uni man. Booya
   

Happy Birthday Mr Ruffle, much respect to the first 22nd year old in the Orp posse. Sorry can't be there. Include that in the list as well.

I hear the healthyest thing u can do is buy over half a kilo of coleslaw that runs out by the end of the day.

me stu and kath did the pool thang on monday, and I got nicely traunched, but I showed a slight improvement over the evening, tbh lack of alcohol probably didn't help my chances.

Was gonna X-media social it up last night, but my money is so non-existent its not even of the humourous kind of variety. and I need books. and some smoothies.

Got like no sleep last night but at one point in a dozy state paniced cos I thought I'd swallowed my phone. *nods*

hilarity later.

ya can't beat stapling

so the conclusion to today was, why did I drink enough beer to drown an elephant and eat just about nothing yesterday. Luckily I managed not to vomit all over my homey Ron Yang in my first lecture, even though he thought Stu was me somehow. Damn ed spreading vicious rumours.

I'd also like to apologise to Alex for stealing his beer, Alex's housemates for putting up with me, Sam for not stabbing me after my smoking rant and anyone else who had to witness me :P

Dear World

please me quiet, my head hurts like hell

thanks, Tom

Geometry

Its what you say when your a common shrubbery.....

and so the award for best text message to tom goes to adam for this one:

"Man, alcohol told me it wants to fuck you up, watch your back fool"

Went to firehouse last night, there was guiness involved and hookers. minus the hookers.

I often wonder if there is some limit to the amount of tv shows I can watch, luckily I'm half man half machine, and 7 times as square eyed

Freshers squash 2moz, society joinage alert

oh and its "G, I'm a tree"

Lollerskates and a bucket of gravy

In me usual suave way I got on the wrong train, instead of the 1218 arriving at 1458 , I got the 1205 arriving at 1408.... 2 hours! Thats insane fast, bonus points. and I got away with it thansk to nice ticket inspector. I've said for a while that stupidety is the new Intelligence.

A clever man once said "a blog's a blog a blogging blog a kit a cat a kitty cat" I'm gonna assume it was Craig David for want of a better role model.

ow. caffeine hurting heart. mmm warmth glow. grammer great.

How to make an energy drink:
mix 2 parts sweet to 5 parts pain and add a dash of "a little bit of sick, little bit of sick"

I think a woman on the train today was negotiating her affair next to me. It's fine, my can o' relentless and crazed eye movements made her susepct I was drinking alcomohol.

I slightly worried my masters is gonna be:

• 7 times to drama
• 7 times the caffeine
• 7 times the time
• Seventy times 7 the work

Also appears my course don't end till 10th September. crud.

wouldn't it be really odd

if I didn't actually exist, and you're actually mentally crazy and dreamt up a person which u perceive (i before e except af....) to exist just to allow your brain to not realise and block out your own mental fragility that is slowly crumbling, supported only by the strangeness of someone you know, as a comparision.

To that extent perhaps you're not actually where you think you are but have in fact constructed an entire world and social construct to support the notion of me existing. You perhaps are possibly in a coma, in a mentally asylum or in any place rather than sitting at a computer reading this.

Perhaps this actual post is a small part of your brain actually trying to drag you back from this fantasy world, trying to alert you to the avalanche of irreversible damage this imaginary situation is doing to your already delicate mind set. Perhaps the sections I bold up in each post are in fact not just random but hold some special significance, to you and your life. Think about it.

Then again if I was imaginary and you'd constructed an entire world to support me, the least you would have done was allow me to spell correctly.

fool.

tuesday sounds like today. But its not

the best bit was the part where my credit card got refused at the petrol station.

I was pondering what would happen if I accidently let it slip to my parents I had a blog, and they were all like "hey guy, where is it" and then I'd have to say, oh I don't want you to see it, its personal. And then if they were as quick witted as some of my minions they'd then question why the hell I publish it to the entire world. I often wonder that. The more people I read, the more general I suspect I must be.

Seriously driving home from exeter at night is much better than anything, especially if you're feeling a bit down, slam on some Brand New, and sing until your voice box collapses inwards. You may call this imploding. I call it Susie. A high blood to caffiene ratio also helps.

If you work for Exeter University look away now: I hacked the uni network so I can use Bittorrent. Obviously for legal things. Like all that...stuff...thats legal...and er on Bittorrent... things like... stuff... damn. Look back now!

Things not to leave near Tom's PC, a) a packet of chocolate chip cookies, b) a loaf of bread, c) a tub of peanut butter d) a spoon.

I've concluded caffiene is the way to a girl's heart.

yo sluts

whoa that was a bit rude, I apologise like Megaman - with no conviction... get it? get it?

u may be thinking to yourself 1 of 2 things:

1) "Wait, I remember why I stopped reading this blog."
or
2)"I wonder what Tom has been up to in the time between his last post, will I have to interpolate?"

no need fearless reader for I shall briefly and sexily update you via the use of gregorian days

Sunday: arrived in exeter fresh faced and with style. Found some shockingly cheaper spoons vouchers and went down to the afformentioned spoons with Stu and Kath, where we started to drink the night away, and met Stu et Kath's friend Nick, so we celebrated by drinking more and Kath taking some scary photos.

Monday: Went to some postgrad meeting malarky with sam and her friend Chris, and then chilled all back down in the ram, old skool style. you knows it

Tuesday: my homeboy Gavin cruised into Exeter with his girlfriend Karen and we went bowling and drinking. Which is quite a perfect combination, seeing as it was only until I had 3 pints in me did I win a game of bowling. Beer - is there anything it can't do.

Wednesday: Went to a postgrad bar crawl, but got petrified and ran home to sort out my 2 and a half men addiction. Thats the show not some sick fetish. you daft racist.

oi

yeah, 'ave it, I'm in exeter. nuff said. room bigger than a soul farm.

I hear I have vouchers for 1p coffee in spoons.... and beer and burger for 2.99. Oh yes oh yes, oh cat hats.

*does the dance exeter style*

take that Sooty.

oi

I'm orf to Exeter. Sort it out kids. I'll be away for a bit while I intend to prove the fact I am actually meant to be at uni and they should give me my room and internet connection

In the mean time look at this ->