Story time

There once lived a lowly farmer, who did nothing all day except tend to his barren and arid land. Oh, how he dreamed of a time where he could electronically in some way express his views, vent his frustrations, share "k3wl l1nkz" and discuss eye socket sex without the moral implications or social reprecussions.

After a lengthy and eye opening discussion with his wife, he was encouraged to leave and make his dreams come true. But not with her. Oh god, not with her. He took with him 7 cows, 2 sheep and an assortment of poultry in the hope of finding his destiny.

He trekked for 40 days and 40 nights without avail, however luckily he had a good stock of food, drink, and stayed in high quality hotels close to local amenities. On the 41st day, a idea struck him, so he proceeded out onto the plains to visit the sole oak tree within screaming distance. On the 42nd day he was struck again, this time by 77 gigawatts of lightening, which travelled from his nose along his finger to a nearby cow.

This transference of electricity forced the cow to combine with the nearby sheep and poultry assortment via several stages of hypnosis and brainwashing. The other cows looked on in shock. As they had also been hit by lightening but to a lesser extent.

The farmer knew exactly what to do, and climbed upon this newly created cow-sheep-poultry hybrid and began to canter along the vast plains of Orpington or somewhere of similar hilarity. Upon reaching 77 miles an hour, nothing happened, but as soon as he got to 83 miles an hour even less happened. Finally at 88 mph a huge blinding flash occured knocking Jake (that's the farmer) 25 ft in the air, and he lost his life to a passing eagle. Fortunatly it was not all in vane as the internet was created. However his dream obviously didn't actually come through as he had no forum to discuss the afformentioned sexual fetish as he was deader than many of my brain cells.

The End.


General Ramblings and Observations by Tom of Earth: a cryptic emotionally-driven look into the life of times of the infamous sock wearer, gadget-whore, unintentional blasphemer, hypocrite, servant of Xenu, Pastafarian, absurdist and thantophobic...without me, its just aweso

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