Calling the allies

Although preplanned, I didn't expect or particularly want the resulting carnage of a night out with work, even if it was a blast. After a mediocre day at work where I spent the whole time fixing builds, we hit up the walkie to watch the Arsenal match in celebration of birthdays and a leaving (one that I didn't cause!). And what a screamer of a match it was! Arsenal being totally dominated by a superior side, somehow coming back from 2-0 down, thanks to a sprightly walcott, Henry receiving a grand reception and Fabregas equalising while breaking his leg with the match saving shot! Whole evening was interspersed with plenty of beer and peppered with sambuca shots. Oh, I also had a damn tasty ashes burger. After the match we retired to the classic local and I drove my memories out of my head with a wonderful elixer... though did manage to get the last tube home

Greatest Hex Hack Ever

Finally, all of us who have multi-monitors can run flash videos in full screen on one monitor and continue to do things on the other with this cunning hex hack(youtube video). I recommend using a hex editor such as FRHED.

I am mega happy with that. No updating for flash for me though. Boom.

Welcome to the industrial revolution

Well as all good addicts with short attention spans would do, I have deleted farmville from my facebook, for a number of reasons, but mainly because its "save" mechanism often seems to forget the saving part. So after spending far too long making my farm look pretty rather than practical, and on learning that I lost all of that already wasted time, so in theory it was wasted-time² or something, I questioned why I was even playing it. Then I stopped. Now I'm happy. Apart from the recent plate punching incident, that was uncalled for, except for the racial slurs that the plate was ejaculating all over the kitchen.

I do hate having to clean the house, I'll be the first in line when they finally bring out those retro steam-punk robots from the 70's that have concertina arms, and feather dusters. Cone boobs as well, no doubt causing the initial uprising of our steam powered skynet overlords.

Snippets: I'm so used to spotify now, I failed to find the volume on itunes initially. SNIP. Walking home form work when it's dark is suprisingly exciting, a mix of christmas and the general electricity of the night. SNIP. Geocities which shut down today, was bought by yahoo in 1999 for $3.57 billion... SNIP. Apparently the moon is a series of tubes. SNIP. The Stratford Rex is still sometimes used as a gig venue, Lil Wayne in fact was bottled there in '08. SNIP.

Good ole Link Dump:

• MET crime mapping
• London's fireworks this 5th November
• Best way to dispose of a sony products
• Technology is awesome.
• AWESOME: Japanese Milk Commerical. Or What The F-Bomb?
• Slow Motion Ice Cream Fight
• The Japanese are REALLY mean
  

Zorbing

In a random twist of unrelated events, I had at some point managed to organise the cashing in of my HydroPod voucher I got from Chez Star for my birthday. By hydropod they confusingly actually mean zorbing. Young Trev was my accomplis in such a daring and randical manouvere, and after some subtle GPS movement we arrived successfully in Warlingham. I think.

After some swift forest trekking, we got to go within 5 minutes of arriving even though we were 35 minutes early. I was told, mistakenly by Rex, that the water inside was probably nice and warm, so on being told to just dive in to the pod (through the anus like hole), I found myself face first in freezing cold water. Much to my delight sensualisation dismay. No matter. Trev soon joined and ended up sitting in most of the water for a good minute, with classic and humourous reaction. Suddenly it was all go, and we began to swoop backwards and forwards, in slightly random directions, linked cunningly with our arms. As we picked up speed, and our laughter made the air viscious with delight, we managed to not only end up in reverse, but we also did a complete 360 over the roof of the pod, dis-linked, resulting in Trev inserting himself in my left kidney, and I was left carefully placed with my head under the 10 inches of cold water. Which lacked breathable oxygen. Then after some more limb based collisions, we landed smack bang in a big pool of water.

After gasping some air based nectar, I decided it was extremely awesome. On changing in the tent/Gazebo that only had 3 sides to it, I was so excited I 'accidently' dropped my fiji themed town for everyone to see my white pasty bottom, and for Trev to look on despair. Hopefully awe. Probably just despair.

To celebrate the fact that I survived one more extreme based activity with only minor organ damage, and irreputable nerve damage, we found a nice carvery with exquisite roast pototoes, gravy and strange shiny high heels scattered through out it. Trev also tossed his yorkshire pud viciously and with no repent on the floor. I laughed. He was sad and wouldn't eat it.

This evening I mainly moped about, shocked and the size of my belly, and the annoyance of pulling stomach muscles through the act of vomitting. Don't drink kids. Or alcohol. Also don't get a job. And remember to change your clocks back if you haven't already.

Accidental drinking

So we decided to go drinking with Dan before we jetted off to Morocco (who knows when I’ll put those updates on here!!), however, we moseyed around a few pubs and ended up in the Pitcher and Piano, where Jon, Pete, Ting and Issy turned up, Dan got some insane hiccups, and had to go home, and we drank our faces in the dirty dirty ground. Slight fail on our part. Especially for flight tomorrow. Ah well. Photos:

Well this is stupid

I'm so behind, such a waste of this blog that I nearly kept up-to-date against most odds and spates of emoness. I'm not sure how I never have the time, it's not like I achieve anything of worth, apart from tweet repeatedly dull excerpts of my life. I've got some notes for this blog, but they stretch back to January, which is a whole lifetime away. Slowly everything I do slips away from me and my memories without this dump. Possibly stems the tide of emo that builds up with the ponderment that is required to write the prose this poor abandoned page begs for. Soon I'll be jetting off to morocco, with my journal and a pen, writing down thoughts that I kid myself will make it up on here. I haven't even finished wanderingtectonics because I can't read the awful cave man scrawl I wrote when I was in Japan.

Perhaps if I woke at 7 each morning I could catch up my blog, then extrapolate my awakeness into some form of gym. Or hope. Or Love.

I blame the Dum Dums.

I caught me a whisper now dance in my hand…

Monday night gig night!!!!! This week: Hundred Reasons.

Finished my story excellently at work, with skill and blatant lack of knowledge that someone will no doubt find out about in a few months. No one need to know for now. Anyway, Rex and I stormed into the local Bierodrome to sample their wares, mainly involve Chicken Ginger Chiller and Frites, for the price of the time, which was about £5.50, pretty awesome, and we had a slightly overpriced (face) palm beer. Which was the beer of the month or something, quite a ‘Distinctive’ flavour, but I agreed with it wholeheartedly.

Then we perambulated to Angel, which is perfection within a perfect city. Man I love Angel, and we had a nice chilled drink in the Angelic Pub, which had toilets with ‘Character’. Venue was just across the street, unfortunately the support acts were a bit poop, but Hundred Reasons were very good, apart from the penultimate song. In conclusion we had 5 beers(TUBORG MOTHERHUBBARDS!) and ended up quite tired.

Gigging is fantastic.

Cory’s Weekend

Great weather this weekend, what with the hea venly blue skies, and caressing sun rays. Cory came down from lofty ole Bristol on Friday, and we met her somewhere, possible Victoria, or Waterloo, I rarely remember such facts, especially as I am writing this in the far distant future *waves hands in a fruitless fashion, what with the lack of vegetation*. Anyway, I suspect we migrated to Leicester Square, where we grabbed a drink or two in the Moon Under Water, which was pretty rammed, as always. Finished off the evening with a curry that Cory was gagging for, and we did well to avoid any for of discount curry place.  Though it was a bit odd, as we were the only clientele in there, apart from the two police officers that came in later. I like curry though, so all was okay.

Upon the Saturday Cory began her micro-sized Tefl course for when she runs away to China for a year or more if she gets addicted to the Kung Pow and Terracotta Warriors. Which is likely. And Xi’an has a nice Starbucks… as Starbucks go. Rather than sitting around screwing screws in a piece of chip board, rex and I decided we should go increase our  knowledge-verse, and frequent the Darwin Exhibition, to laugh in the face of Creationists. Unfortunately we couldn't get in, God dammit  so went across to the Science Musuem to peruse their exhibitions, there was a cool Wallace and Gromit exhibition, but it cost money and what with us having awesome hair, but stingy pockets, we went around the Dan Dare cold war type exhibition. Pretty dope. Then we were hungry, as one does get, and found a Moroccan restaurant near South Kensington tube station, and decided we should sample London’s Morocco before we go to actual Morocco. Turns out it is extremely yummy, especially when  it is on a cheap lunch deal involving harira soup and excellent fried fish. i think we wandered around the cool park by  the Royal Albert Hall.

In the evening I met up with Shing and BOOOOOOOOOOOON in the Roadhouse, for some awesome 50% off food, and very nice waitress and cheap cheap cocktails. Boon and I shared an awesome meat based platter style dish, and we made love, or I just ate everything, something like that. After some tipsy making cocktails, we met Cory in the Crooked Surgeon, where  we gently drank the night away before home time.

On Sunday I fear we just chilled, and then Cory departed after the last day of her Tefl course, which was a grand success. PHOTOS!

Photos?! Yes.

Brain Thoughts

• I wish there were 2 lunch breaks at work. then I would rule the world with a steely fist and razor sharp pineapples
• I sometimes think we should use dead rabbit instead of our build server
• throughout the day my computer commits tiny suicides, each time reaching out, closer, to the peaceful tranquillity of silicon heaven
• Rex smells, but not as much as the cardboard that has sat outside our overflow pipe for 7 months. It has mushrooms and worms. Yummy!
• I'd overflow HER pipe
• New Hobby: Swippang vewols
• As I wait for the Diphenhydramine Hydrochloride to kick in, I made up the word tweetmo & have decided to live up to its ridiculous hyperbole
• "replace all" is a dangerous option for any one, especially bunnies
• When I flash my free coffee wallet today, guy was like "Whoa it's the FBI", how we laughed....
• Actually I was like "Indeed, I have a few questions, firstly, why does your coffee taste of dead babies?"...
• To be honest I actually initially looked confused, then half-heartedly laughed as I thought he'd misprounounced 'VPI'... damn you Zeus
• Luckily for my health I did not get stabbed and I didn't become a target for molotov cocktails. I'm trying to keep my drinking down anyway.
• If anyone is travelling by tube: http://tinyurl.com/d6ruun
• Simplest April Fools ever, sent by email to our office: "Krispy Creams in the Kitchen, Enjoy".
• *Head desk* 'bad joke exception'.... jokes here hurt me

Now, you say you’re lonely…

I heard from reliable sources that Rex, Shing and I went drinking today. Followed by Surfing on the tube. During which we broke one of the sexy coors light glasses that we pinched from Holborn Spoons. I do believe, if my memory serves me, that some other people may have been there, possibly Jon and Pete. We may have even started at the Bierodrome, or somewhere else of reputable reputation.

 

Brain Thoughts

• Today has gone faster than robot jesus on a tricycle. In disappointing news, Ad has bought an iTouchMyselfEveryNight
• Apparently trying to get to work earlier takes much longer, and the tube was so busy I ended up bumming a hot indian girl the whole way
• I should probably tell someone that the tower dispenser in the toilets is actually a cunningly disguised cattle prod
• I now have my Bupa forms. therefore i am, by default, immortal.
• I think gmail has been weakened by the rain that is apparently lashing down on it, and is having trouble scrolling in a timely manner
• For some reason, the fact our building is having power outages, is breaking our water supply, so we can't flush the toilets
• Luckily, to spite me, Karma made me splash boiling hot free coffee in my face. Damn you Zeus
• Rofl, our build server has spazzed out beyond all sensible belief. To the ground it shall burn!!!!
• lollerskates - Mythbusters shatter windows of a village over a mile away: http://tinyurl.com/d3z9kn
• just elbow dropped someone in the head on the tube. classic
• Elbow hurts….
• mike: "did u just upload a vid called tom and mike's vulva?"
• crazy drunk on tube trying to communicate to a baby via the medium of song. baby appears more intelligent than him. possibly me as well.
• my hair just tried to take route in my eyeball, u can't live off eye juice fool!
• Not sure everyone in the office is as sexually active towards twitter as I am. It likes it fast and witty...

Just to live in a dream…

Woke up a little bit worse for wear and wandered onward to explore the lovely city centre, before bumping into Jacq in starbucks where I somehow scammed the smoking hot barrister there for my free coffee before 2pm. She was American I think. Met up with Stu and Kath in Zizzi after chilling in a park for a while, had a jolly nice pizza though was jealous of Kath’s fold over one (Calzone). Went to spoons and started drinking with Stu. Errors. Met up with the others in Oddfellas later one and had lots more drinks, people died, much humour existed, and there was a really hot girl there, unfortunately she had a boyfriend. Curses.

Recovery

I think I mostly recovered enough to drive home today, but I also checked out Exeter’s beautiful cathedral green, and noted a local pub ripping off Costa’s logo on their chalk board..

If I were a painter…

After kinda drifting through the day, in the evening I drove to Exeter after work with Greg and Shing, not to bad trip to be honest, but just getting out of London was quite traumatic for everyone involved, I really need to sell my car I think. Dropped them off at Junella’s house and hit up the Thistle Hotel, very excellent yet somewhat too posh for me, though I got my room for 40 quid a night or something, and behind the desk they were going for £120. Definitely not worth that much by any stretch of the imagination. Ran and met stu in the Spoons(Impy) for last hour or so of drinking which was cool as it wasn’t busy and I swear the same bar staff are working there still. Afterwards we went back to the hotel, where it turns out I misread a sign and got my car clamped, so I had to pay for that to get unclamped, and then move it into a disabled space where it WAS legal to park in… somehow. Anyway, to drown my sorrows, we went to my hotel’s bar which turned out to have a 24 hour bar.

Excellent.

We drank till some stupid hour like 4am. Good show.

Scream: ‘why why, I can’t understand’

Yesterday Rex and I met up with Danu after work in Belgo/Bierodrome for some nice Guinness, as I do believe it was St Patrick’s Day. Following which we went to the Thai restaurant just around the corner from Holborn station. Jolly yummy. Finished up in the Spoons, which had run out of Guinness much to my dismay.

Today however, we went to see Watchmen at the stratford Picturehouse. Before hand we attempted to have Pizza Express, but they didn’t get our food made in time, so we just had to go, they were nice enough to give us our beer for free though. I think we were meant to  go back after the film though, whoops. Watchmen was really good, though a bit too much blue wang if you ask me. And you probably will.

Snow Patrol

Just saw Snow Patrol, support acts were pretty rubbish, but they were extremely amazing. The applause after Run was sensational, never seen anything like it, and you could tell they were pretty emotionally hit in the face with it. Great atmosphere. Good production and lighting as well. Thoroughly recommend it. I suspect I might be listening to them non stop for a while.

Port Lympne’s Red Panda

I’d collapse before you do…

Went back to Orpington to see mommy, and show her photos of Singapore, Malaysia and Thailand, at some point I’ll get all the way through all my travel photos. To do that I might have to stop travelling and see mother more.

Today we went to Port Lympne animal park, and went on the awesome African Safari. Very good idea, I’m not really sure how better to describe it than to throw loads of photos at your retinas.

Steampunks in your underwear.

I swear the office is some form of New Zealand v Australia face off. It’s like west end story but with boomerangs.

Even greater than that awesome joke, is the fact I managed to get Brand New tickets, which in hindsight was amazing as they sold out in 15 minutes or less, as Joff didn’t managed to get any :( After work, in celebration, I met up with Shing, and we stormed into the Slug and Lettuce for some food and drinkies, before finding a crazy pub called the Pillars of Hercules, where we had a nice crammed pint, and then mooched onto the Porterhouse to see Rex. The Porterhouse is fantastic, brew all their own beer, and looks amazing inside, all brass and slightly steampunk, though not really.

As normal we ended up in KFC on the way home, much to everyone’s rejoice.